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Astrologer's Notes: |
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Love Thyself: Working with the 11th House
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by Basil Fearrington |
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In last month's essay, I mentioned the difficulties that I encountered in the early days of learning astrology. When I started (1967), the texts were poor from the standpoint of the humanistic perspective. Although Dane Rudhyar's revolutionary, "Astrology of Personality," had already initiated the humanistic astrology movement in the earlier half of last century, the astrology of the times then did not follow his lead. It continued to be rigidly fatalistic, not developmental and was pretty static: "this means that"; "that means this." Words like "afflicted" and "bad" were used. There was no concept developmental synthesis. This presentation of astrology made for much confusion and difficulty in learning. It is the reason why, even today, I take on new students who say that they have been reading astrology books for twenty years and still cannot analyze a horoscope effectively.
Another problem that I encountered with astrology during those early days was in the way certain Houses were presented. I found the 8th, 11th, and 12th Houses to be particularly difficult to build into a working synthesis of a horoscope. The 8th and 12th Houses symbolize many factors that are unconscious and still typically cause problems for a new student. But the 11th House was quite concrete, yet, for me, still difficult to integrate into analysis practically in my early stages of learning.
Anyone who was learning astrology during those days was introduced to the 11th House as the House of "Friends-Hopes & Wishes," or even worse, "Hopes-Wishes & Dreams." No matter how hard I tried, I simply could not make any sense of these descriptions of the 11th House in a way that allowed me to communicate anything of value to a person whose horoscope had an 11th House accentuation. If I saw a horoscope with disparate symbols in the 11th House (Venus, Mars, Saturn), I had no clue how to relate that to the 11th House in terms of what all of the books were telling me. What did Neptune in the 11th House mean? Would the person be doomed to a lifetime of alcoholic friends or would they be artists with unrealistic hopes, wishes, and dreams? And what if they were, in fact, artists? So what! What importance would that have to a person's process of development and growth? What was the missing was a way to fit this into a person's process of development.
Years later, into the seventies, the world of astrology was blessed with Noel Tyl's epic, twelve-volume series titled, "The Principles & Practices of Astrology." Tyl had taken all of the older phrases and thoughts in astrology and updated them so that they had meaning to an individual in terms of a process of development. He was the first astrologer to characterize the 11th House as the House symbolizing the love that one hopes to receive.
Why the 11th House Symbolizes Lovability
We know that a horoscope is comprised of twelve Houses but in reality, we are dealing with two sets of six Houses. The first six have to do with extensions of "me" and the second set of Houses have to do with extensions of "you" or others. Beginning with the 7th House through the 12th House, all Houses are derivative from the "other." For example, where the 1st House is "me", the 7th House is "you." The 2nd House carries the connotation of "my" worth so the 8th House is "your worth." The 3rd House is "my" thoughts versus the thoughts of others, of society in the 9th House. The 5th House has to do with the love that I give to others (psychologically speaking). So derivatively, we are talking about the 11th House in terms of the frame of reference of the "partner." If your partner is giving love, you are the recipient of it. It, therefore, makes sense to say that the 11th House represents the love that I [hope and expect to] receive. After all, the end result of satisfied relationships with our friends, hopes, and wishes is that we are loved and appreciated. We extend this dynamic further and see the 11th House addressing factors that have to do with one's sense of lovability, an extremely important dynamic in the human developmental process.
The sense of lovability that one has is a key issue in development when one does not feel capable of being loved or feels that they cannot attract love. What happens is that one's personal developmental resources have to work around this felt deficiency to defend against it and it can contribute to enormous relationship concerns (the 11th House is trine to the 7th House in the natural distribution of the Houses. There is a natural flow between relationships and one's sense of lovability. The flow is smooth when lovability and relationship concerns are at ease) and all kinds of over-compensatory actions.
The bottom line is that if you do not feel that you are lovable, you make it challenging for anyone else to feel that way about you. How many times have you been in a relationship with someone, or have tried to be in a relationship with someone who did not easily believe your proclamations of love? In the mind of such a person, what they are saying is, "I think that I am not lovable and you therefore do not really love me."
I am reminded of an incident that happened to me with someone whose horoscope has strong 11th House tension. The chemistry and attraction between us was mutual. After lots of phone conversations and a casual meeting, we agreed to go to see a movie together. There was a wonderful marketplace just across the street from the theater and since we were early, we stopped there to grab a quick bite to eat. While there, we ran into a neighbor of mine whose mother's funeral I had just attended just a few days prior. I did not have the opportunity to talk with him after the funeral so this gave me an opportunity to express my condolences. We talked for all of 90 seconds, shook hands and he walked away. I looked around and could not find my date! I searched everywhere for her. I called her cell phone. I could not understand what had happened. When I found her she was obviously upset. I wondered what had happened. When asked, her response was, "I know you had no intention of introducing me to your friend so I walked away." I was dumbfounded. She had turned a non-occurrence into a personal attack on her. What she was really saying is, "I feel unattractive and unlovable. I projected that onto you and just assumed that you did not want to introduce me to your friend." There was something about the setting that replayed an uncomfortable tape in her mind that was projected onto me. It was just absurd that this striking woman could not see her own beauty and strengths. Something in her life had gotten in the way of her ability to see herself as a person who deserves to be loved. This is one of the many manifestations of lovability dysfunction that can be reflected by a tense 11th and this is one of many typical manifestations of an 11th House that is tense.
An 11th House accentuation in a horoscope suggests that there is an above average need and expectation for love, accolades, and attention than is so with the average person, especially when Saturn, Uranus, Mars, or Pluto (in that order of importance) are there. A perfect example of this was quite visible in the life of the O.J. Simpson that everyone knew before his wife was murdered. O.J., whose horoscope has four planets in the 11th House, absolutely thrived on the attention, love, and accolades that he received from others. (Friendships (Al Cowlings) were critical in his life). There was an overwhelming desire for it (attention) and he succeeded at fulfilling it until he made the crucially bad decisions in his life that will forever separate him from the love and attention that he so values.
An 11th House accentuation reflects behavior that often works to attract attention from others that is necessary to feel that sense of being lovable. The manifestations are many: The sexual dynamic can be hedonistically strong; you might find Mr. or Ms. 11th House going out of the way to be friendly to others, etc. Many are attracted to some form of achievement that attracts applause. And make no mistake about it, friendship IS an important part of the equation here but the friendship is for the purpose of feeling loved. Whatever the case may be, the domain of the 11th House has much to do with one's sense of feeling loved and lovable, and this is emphasized when this House is accentuated.
While an 11th House accentuation reflects a strong need for love and attention, the fulfillment of the need can become problematic for any number of reasons. The rule of thumb is that if a planet in the 11th House, or if the ruler of the 11th House is involved in aspect tension in the horoscope (conjunction, square, quindecile, or opposition), there is a suggestion that there are tensions with that person's ideas about how lovable they are or are not.
The Succedent Grand Cross
The Succedent Houses, of course, are II-V-VIII-XI. The base House of this cross is the 2nd House, the House that symbolizes self-worth and self-esteem. In the natural distribution of Houses, the 2nd House is always square to the 11th House. This is the universe's way of saying that the ability to receive love, to feel lovable, is dependent upon and is in relationship to how one feels in terms of self worth and self-esteem. And magically, you will almost always find that when the 11th House is under tension the 2nd House will also be involved in tension and the two Houses will frequently be tied together through significator dynamics. This is because it is hard to feel unlovable when you feel good about yourself, when you feel worthy. It is much easier to feel unlovable when you lack esteem. Tension in any corner of this Cross can manifest in concerns that have to do with self-esteem and love.
Examples
This is the partial horoscope of the woman who was described in the incident earlier in this essay. Neptune is conjunct the Moon in the 2nd House. Stop! Without going any further, this tells us that there is self-worth uncertainty connected with the giving of love and sexuality (Neptune rules the 5th House). The way she feels about herself in terms of worth will tend to "get in the way" of her ability to give of herself in loving ways because of self-worth uncertainty.
Mars is in the 11th House and squares the Neptune-Moon conjunction. Remember, anytime there is tension between the 2nd House and 11th House, there is going to be a suggestion of a tug-of-war between self-worth and lovability factors that are unaffected by the planets involved. So we can quickly see that this base factor of an insecure self-worth profile is going to make difficult the giving and receiving of love. Mars rules the 7th House, routing this lovability/self-worth tension into relationships! It is really that simple. Her relationships are undermined because of self-worth factors that are related to the giving and receiving of love. And the root of all of this is that she has learned to not trust because her father was so extremely unfaithful to her mother and unreliable to her. It is a core issue in this woman's life. If I were to show you the entire horoscope, you would see an orientation to defensiveness within all of this that emanates from the role modeling for relationships provided by her mother and father.
Pamela Anderson
The mere mention of this woman's name makes you think of sexuality, never of talent. Her entire career is based upon the physical manner in which she presents herself. Sex sells and Pamela Anderson has perfected the art of selling it. But what is underneath it all? What is the motivation to present herself as she does?
The first impression of Pamela's horoscope shows a focus on the lower hemisphere, which always suggests an emphasis on the formative years of development in a way where tensions are carried over into adult life, usually manifesting in relationship concerns. (Corroborated by the Sun, ruler of IV squared by Saturn; Venus, in IV squared by Neptune, and Uranus, ruler of X, conjoined by Uranus).
The Cancer Sun shows a focal life-energy that centers on emotional security factors. This focal energy is presented assertively to others in a personality that needs to be at the head of the parade, needs to be noticed and acknowledged importantly (Moon in Aries), all in the name of establishing emotional security. In other words, her sense of security comes through establishing ego importance. The Aries position of the Moon is what leads the behavior here. The Moon's 11th House position [in Aries], especially with Saturn, emphasizes the need for ego acknowledgement, accolades, attention, etc.
Pamela's Ascendant is Gemini and Mercury is retrograde in the 2nd House. Virgo is on the cusp of the 5th House. This tells us a mouthful. First of all, it suggests that there is a connection between her identity presentation and sexuality (this is also the case with Michael Jackson). The retrogradation of Mercury suggests a delay in the formation of her identity. Its placement in the second House focuses the problems related to the identity concern in the area of self-worth; her mind is going to work simultaneously on two levels. What this suggests is that there is a secondary issue working in the back of her mind at all times that is deeply related to the delay in identity realization and her sexuality.
Mercury is the focal point of a T-Square with the opposition formed by Mars and the Moon in the V-XI axis. Note that Mars is the co-ruler of the 11th House and the Moon is the ruler of the 2nd House, emphasizing this whole picture of mental anxiety regarding her worth in relationship to her ability to give and receive love. Unlike my former date, who became passive and distant under tension, Pamela's way of coping with her concerns is to be assertive in the pursuit of attention and sexuality (do note the conjunction of Pluto to Uranus on the cusp of V; this is a tremendous intensification of sexuality) and attracting attention. And with five quintiles in her horoscope, coupled with Neptune's square to her Midheaven, she is able to get through all of this in a creative manner. Make no mistake about it…..this is a woman who needs and demands attention. It is her way of convincing herself that she is lovable, and that makes her secure. On a superficial basis, Pamela surely feels desired but true lovability fulfillment will be much more dependent upon her coming to grips with who she is underneath the glitz and glitter of her personality presentation (her Pluto=Venus/Saturn suggests strong relationship tensions, probably because of the over-idealization of partners that is suggested by Neptune's square to Venus). The day will come when she will be unable to attract attention from her physical presentation. That is when she will have to come to grips with those background thoughts about her identity and self-esteem.
Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson's life story is very well known. He was a child prodigy whose talent was instrumental in building an enormous tower of wealth and notoriety for himself and his family. And despite the recent concerns in Jackson's life, there is no question that he is one of the most talented entertainers ever in the music business.
Michael did not come to his professional success without paying a personal price. The early years of his life had a large degree of family turmoil that centered on the autocratic nature of his father. Michael's horoscope shows a dominant lower hemisphere emphasis, reflecting the focus on those early tensions. We see corroboration of this first impression through Pluto's conjunction to the Sun (muzzled power expression) with the Sun's rulership of the 4th House and most importantly, through the quindecile from that Pluto to the Moon, which suggests a tenacious obsession with nurturing (please see the Newsmaker area of my web site for more on Michael).
As was the case with Pamela Anderson, Gemini is Michael's Ascendant with Virgo on the 5th House cusp, tying together the identity and sexuality. Mercury is retrograde (!!!!), suggesting a delay in identity formation and a secondary mental construct that "gets in the way of" his sexuality. That Mercury is in the 4th House tells us that the roots of all this come from a parent, from unfinished business from those years that lie latent in his psyche.
It is a matter of fact, aided by his father's teasing, that Michael spent a great deal of his years seeing himself as an ugly, unattractive person. His father used to tease him about the size of his nose when he was a young boy and it planted a seed. Michael became very self-critical. By his own admission, he did not (and perhaps still doesn't) see himself as being a person whom others would be interested in loving beyond the allure of his celebrity.
Michael's 11th House is ruled by Neptune and it conjoins Jupiter, suggesting a focus of idealism that manifests most clearly in his creativity (5th House), in relationships (7th House), and in how he feels about himself in terms of being lovable (11th House).
Mars is the co-ruler of Michael's 11th House and squares Venus and Mercury. There is a link here between Michael's identity (1st House and Mercury), his sexuality (5th House with Mercury and Venus rulerships), and the tension within about not being lovable. It is as clear as the Sun! When we look further, as is usually the case when the 11th House is stressed, we see that the Moon, ruler of the 2nd House (and 3rd), is squared by Saturn (self-worth tension that manifests in relationships to/with others) and, of course, there is the aforementioned quindecile from Pluto. Inasmuch as the Moon also rules the 3rd House, it is easy to see the obsession in his mindset with regards to nurturing. We can deduce that all of this business with nurturing, trying to be a mother for children, is his attempt to heal the wounds in his psyche carried over from those important formative years of development.
Private Case
There can be no question of the importance of the influence of the environment and parents in our formative years of development. For one particular client of mine, the influence actually started before her birth.
This beautiful, intelligent, classy woman was conceived into a situation where her mother was a prostitute for her father, who was her pimp! And they were married!!!!! Pregnant for two months with my client, the woman's mother tried to abort her while in jail, a fact that my client was reminded of over and over and over again in her young life. Years later, her father would die from AIDS (drug-related) and her mother, who spent the greater part of her life in and out of mental institutions for depression and mental instability, finally succumbed to cancer and left her body. She, too, finally passed away, succumbing to cancer. My client was raised by a grandmother whose perspective of the male-female relationship was full of the bitterness and hatred that enveloped her own relationships. My client's brother spent most of his adult life in prison and her sister was eventually killed because of a drug deal that went bad. Needless to say, this was not an emotionally stable, productive environment to grow up in but my client made it through, graduated from college, taught high school for awhile and is successful in the business world today. If you were to see this woman, you would be immediately struck by her beauty (Venus=Sun/Moon), which is reinforced by a fabulous personality, great social skills and charisma. She is a traffic-stopper physically and intellectually.
BUT……
The first impression of my client's horoscope reveals a northeastern hemisphere emphasis. Despite her effervescent personality presentation, which is a "show" to others to gain ego significance via social ego reflection (the Libra emphasis), she is pretty defensive and self-protective, which is understandable considering the circumstances of her life. As an analyst, the idea is to identify the cause of the defensiveness and relinquish the necessity for it in the future.
Saturn conjoins Venus in the 4th House. With Saturn's rulership of the 5th House, there is an immediate connection between the early home tension and her ability to give love intimately. This is an extremely important point. The relational/emotional constraints of the early home are transferred to the woman's own relationships through sexuality.
The Moon in Cancer needs emotional security. In this horoscope, that security needs to come via attention from others, friendships, and she will need to know that she is loveable! The problem is that she attracts men easily but cannot comfortably follow through in relationships when they get to a point of intimacy. Despite the obvious, she cannot see herself as others see her and it is because of deep-rooted self-worth concerns linked to those formative years of development.
Once again, both the 11th and 2nd Houses are tense. The Moon is squared by the stellium of planets in the 2nd House. Through significator dynamics, this relationship between the two Houses spills over into the experiences of six Houses but focuses dramatically on the 11th House!!!! What this says is that this dynamic between lovability and worth is tremendously ubiquitous and emphatic.
As her astrologer, my job was to get her to see her situation objectively and understand that she was a victim of the traffic patterns that her parents were involved in prior to her birth. I was also able to suggest things to assist her in the enjoyment of intimacies because without that, her constant attraction to men was a burden. The fear of allowing herself to open up fully enough to enjoy the intimacy was overwhelming for her. It took deep, intense, long bouts of introspection but my client was finally able to come to grips with the fact that she based her inability to open up with a loss of control and the feeling that intimacy would reveal that "I am not so lovable."
Marilyn Monroe
I have discussed Marilyn Monroe's horoscope in many of my essays on this site. It is a horoscope that is underscored by tremendous parental tensions that led to the caricature actress whose life was plagued with relationship concerns. The highlights of Marilyn's horoscope are as follows:
· Southern hemisphere emphasis - pushed around or even victimized by life experiences that are often beyond one's control.
· Saturn Rx in the 4th House - difficult early circumstances with a focus on the father. Saturn is the focal point of a T-Square of Neptune opposing the Moon and Jupiter.
· Saturn is quindecile Mercury, suggesting a tenacious obsessiveness in the thought processes, often leading to acute depression.
· Gemini and Virgo are on the cusps of the 11th and 2nd Houses, relating the Saturn-Mercury factor to her sense of lovability and worth.
What this brief sketch tells us is that Marilyn's father was on her mind, deeply affecting her sense of worth and lovability, despite the adoration she received.
At the end of the day, the inner message of the 11th House message is, "Love yourself so that you can really enjoy loving someone else and so that they can really enjoy loving you."
Copywrite © 2004 Basil Fearrington
All Rights Reserved
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Basil Fearrington,
Astrologer
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Basil Fearrington is the author of "The New Way To Learn Astrology." He has been a professional astrologer for 22 years.
Basil's articles have appeared in the leading astrological publications around the world. He was the Inaugural Chairman for the MilleyDome project in Johannesburg, South Africa and taught astrology there for one year.
Basil has twice been a faculty member of UAC and spoke at Astro 2000. In addition to his work in astrology, Basil is a professional musician who has toured with and/or recorded for artists such as Stevie Wonder and George Benson.
He was on a team of composers who did the music for a network show called "New York Undercover." The same team won a Grammy award in 1980.
bfearr@aol.com
www.basilfearrington.com
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