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Humor: Notes from the Trail


Ask the Swami

by Swami Beyondananda


Who’s Looking Out for the Born “Feed-Us”?

Dear Swami:

I don’t understand how all of these “pro-life” people can be in favor of war. And why is there such an emphasis on war, anyway? There is the war on drugs, the war on poverty, the war on terrorism. Why war, Swami?


Ella Mentry,
Clifton, Arkansas



Dear Ella:

Yes, the whole concept “pro-life” has puzzled me too. As soon as the unborn fetus becomes a “born feed-us,” these people seem to lose interest. There needs to be some perspective here. I figure the entire time we spend in the womb -- give or take a couple of weeks -- is nine months. If we live to be 75 years old, that’s 900 months. So it seems to me, to keep things balanced those “pro-life” people need to put a hundred times more attention on the “born” than the “unborn.” This would greatly improve the reality the unborn would get born into.


Regarding war, I’m afraid that our current leaders are fossils fueled by fossil fuels. And to the reptile mind, everything looks like war. I’ve got good news, though. The war on poverty is over, and all the poor people have surrendered. As for the war on drugs, my solution is simpler, cheaper and more effective: Forget the war on drugs -- improve reality instead!


If we want to get away from the “war” mentality (and I have to say this is indeed a “men”-tality because more men than women buy into it), we must use our male energy to build bridges instead of blowing them up. The real pro-life movement is men and women who build the future and heal the past, laugh at the material in the material world, and use it as a true human growth hormone.





Does the Rat-Race Just Make Us a Race of Rats?

Dear Swami:

I’ve read my fill of news stories about corporations throwing their sizable weight around to stack the deck against the rest of us, and frankly I’m wondering when we’re going to say, “We’re mad as hell and we’re not gonna take it anymore?” I say it’s time we put these corporate rats in the appropriate cages!


Orestes Matafakas,
Detroit, Michigan



Dear Orestes,

While I can understand how you can be enraged by this outrage, please remember that there relatively few gold collar criminals, and the rest of those you refer to as “rats” are just humans caught up in the rat race. In a way, all of us are stuck in some kind of maze looking for our share of the cheese. After all, haven’t we all been trained to salivate at the sight of products as part of the all-consuming religion of consumption? So even if we ourselves haven’t enlisted in the salivation army, let us have mercy on those poor rats trying to overtake others before someone undertakes them. So here is the good news. All rats are trainable! All we need to do withn corporations is catch them in the act of doing something right and reward them.


And for the rest of us, maybe it’s time to cut out acquire practice and sing a different tune. Remember back in the 80s where they told you to invest in diamonds and store food? Well, here it is now and you realize we’d all be better off investing in hearts and giving food away. Happier and wiser, you realize it’s not who dies with the most toys, it’s who lives with the most joys who wins.




BeyondaNews:
But Seriously, Folks...



Facing the “Not See” Menace

Dear Friends:

The news about the treatment of Iraqi prisoners is sad and
disheartening, but unfortunately no surprise. When we give away
authority to those who “know better” and then look away, we become the
“not-sees” who are enablers for would-be “Nazis.” My article, “It’s Time
to Face the Not See Menace,” is now online at OpEdNews.com (click below) along with Brian Narelle’s compelling cartoon.
http://www.opednews.com/bhaerman050204_Nazi_not_see_menace.htm


Whether you identify as a Democrat or Republican or Green or Libertarian
or Independent, if you understand consciousness, you know that our
society is suffering from an unacknowledged shadow. To paraphrase Carl
Jung, that which we deny will jump up and confront us on the road, and
all signs indicate the confrontation with our dark side is just around
the bend.


Furthermore, the world is now small enough that there is really nowhere
to run and hide from the ugly world of politics. There is no one here
but us. We the people -- particularly those who have an active spiritual
life, and choose to act from a belief in a loving Spirit -- must now
become the leaders our misleaders have failed to be.



And Now for the Good News ...

The good news is, we have the power to use humor to rise above the
dueling dualities, and see our human foolishness from the higher
perspective of levity. At a time when waking up isn’t optional, it’s
required, what better way to wake up than to wake up laughing?
As I crunch down on the final pieces of the Swami for Precedent book and
share them with associates, the feedback I am getting is that this is
just what the doctor ordered for the body politic. To see our actions
(and inactions) reflected in laughter allows us to face and heal our
shadow, which is exactly what can liberate America and inspire the world
right now.
By the way, the book will include more than 50 of cartoonist Brian
Narelle’s compelling illustrations, as well as a Recourses and Resources
section at the end, and a special bonus, Swam’s Political Dictionary.
Depending on how things work with printing schedules, the final product
should roll off the presses the first week of June -- or slightly
earlier. While this book may on the surface seem like it’s about the
Presidential election, it is really about the “precedential election”
where we the people elect ourselves to evolve into our highest ideals.
Yes, it sounds utopian -- but it sure beats the alternative!

We are continuing our pre-publication purchase offer of autographed
books at 3 for $43 (a $57 value), and ten for $130 (a $190 value if
ordered by the each). Just click below to pre-order. If you are a store,
please call our hotline at (800) SWAMI-BE.

May the Farce be with you,
Swami
Beyondananda,

Swami Beyondananda is the alter ego of author, comedian and teacher Steve Bhaerman.


In his previous life, Steve has been an educator, author and publisher. The co-founder of an alternative high school in Washington, D.C., Steve is the author of No Particular Place to Go: Making of a Free High School (Simon & Schuster, 1972) and Friends and Lovers: How to Meet the People You Want to Meet (Writer's Digest Books, 1986).


He was an adjunct professor at Wayne State University and University of Michigan, and published his own magazine in southeastern Michigan, Pathways.

For the past 16 years, he has been writing and performing comedy as Swami Beyondananda.


The Swami is author of Driving Your Own Karma, and Duck Soup for the Soul. He is also the founder of the Right-To-Laugh party, and rumor has it he will toss his turban into the ring and launch a run for President this April Fool's Day.


To find out more about the Swami, and how you can promote healing laughter and transformational comedy through the Laughmore Society and the Right-To-Laugh movement, go to

www.wakeuplaughing.
com


or call Swami’s hotline:

1-800-SWAMI-BE.
You'll find it in
The
Directory!



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