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In Practise: Spirit at Work:
Spirit at Work
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by John Livesay |
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Have you every wondered how to have peace of mind in your career? Have you ever wanted to learn how to quiet the thoughts of doubt and anxiety regarding money? Would you like to learn how to apply the power of silence to increase your income and comfort level?
If so, then this is the column for you.
Many people feel that their job identity is their full identity. They also feel that their income is a reflection of their self-worth. Without a job, without a big job title or without a big income, they don't feel good about themselves. They are on the self-esteem roller coaster -- where the following statements pertain to their mindset:
1) "I only feel good about myself if I'm making this much money or have this job title."
2) "I feel bad about myself if someone rejects me, gets angry with me or I don't get the promotion I expected."
3) "I still don't feel happy even though I got the job, the promotion, etc. -- or I was only happy for a short time- what happened?"
Let's look at each one of those statements from a broader, more positive viewpoint:
1) Your identity is bigger than your job title. When you realize that who you are is bigger than what you do or the size of your paycheck, you can "soar above the radar." This is how I describe the feeling of transcending the every day challenges that can bring you down if you let them. There are two different ways to approach this challenge -- inner motivation vs. external motivation. Though the behavior or outcome may look the same, one will give you peace of mind, while the other will only have you looking outside of yourself for validation and it is never quite adequate.
a) Inner motivation. With this approach you realize you are whole and complete. You trust your instincts and your decisions based on your own internal voice. When you decide to buy a car, you make the decision based on what works best for you. You have your own criteria set. If you decide to buy a Lexus instead of a BMW, it is because the car best fulfills your needs and expectations. You may buy the BMW, but it won't be because you need the logo to feel good about your decision. The same is true when you decide which job or career to pursue. You make a choice that pleases you -- not based on a need to impress others. You may end up pursuing a prestigious job, but the prestige isn't your primary reason for making the choice. You take a job or stay in a job because you have a passion for what you are doing and it fulfills your need for creative self-expression.
b) External motivation. With this approach you are looking for products and job titles to define yourself. You feel compelled to buy a BMW because that is the "hot" brand that everyone recognizes as prestigious. External motivation will lead you to seek a job because it provides a corner office or the best parking place. You are more interested in what the job can do for your stature instead of focusing on what you can bring to the job. Because you are not aware that all your needs can be met spiritually you seek to fill this void externally.
2) When we decide that everything has to go our way 100% of the time in order for us to be happy, we are sure to be disappointed. This is what causes us to become "control freaks" or micromanagers. The way out of this is to "trust the process." The way to trust the process is to understand that your thoughts create your reality and that your identity is consistent as an individualization of spirit. The old way of selling is "Always Be Closing" -- often referred to as "ABC." The enlightened way of selling is "Always Be Kind" or ABK. Be kind in the way you talk to yourself, your co-workers and your clients.
Recently I was flying from Los Angeles to New York. When I checked in I asked if I could buy miles and upgrade to business class at the ticket counter. I was very happy when the agent said, 'yes.' At the gate, they announced that we were going to be at a different gate so we all walked and waited. Then a second time, they announced another gate change and I noticed many people were really fed up with all the changes. The airline paged several of us and asked us to come up to the front counter. They explained that there was a change of aircraft and the new plane had fewer business class seats so the last people who were upgraded would have to be "downgraded" back to coach. Of course I was disappointed, but when I saw how upset others were it took my focus off my feelings. I watched and learned how limited some people's ability to adapt can be.
They put all us "downgraded" business people in the first two rows of coach together. When the flight attendant came by to offer everyone a headset for $2.00, one man refused saying he would have gotten a free headset in business class and shouldn't have to pay for it just because the airline had changed the aircraft. He chose to get upset and yell at the flight attendant who had nothing to do with the change of aircraft. How much was his peace of mind worth? You guessed it-he lost it over $2.00. He went on to rant and rave that he had never been "downgraded" in his life. The flight attendant told him that if he didn't calm down, he would have security meet him when the plane landed. This is what it took to "wake him up." After 9/11, none of this type of behavior is tolerated. Suddenly it hit me that spiritually we are never downgraded or upgraded. We are loved and accepted exactly the way we are and don't have to earn it. I decided to use ABK and offered to relieve the tension and pay for his headset.
3) There's a great expression -- "Be careful what you wish for." Many people I have met get a job or promotion that they've wanted so badly and still are not happy. There is something very upsetting for people who have to let go of the illusion that something on the outside is going to make them happy. They play the "as soon as" game. This is a game I know how to play very well. When I was going to school in Illinois, I thought, "As soon as I move to California, I'll be happy." Then I got to California and thought, "As soon as I get a high paying job, I'll be happy." Then I got the job and thought, "As soon as I get promoted, I'll be happy." Finally, I realized that nothing outside of me was going to make me happy. I had to be happy first and then decide to express myself through work. Now that I come from a place of inner motivation, I have been able to triple my income in the last 10 years and also write the book "The 7 Most Powerful Selling Secrets." All of it is a great creative expression and demonstration of my ability to make a difference. None of it is done with the purpose of making me happy. I am happy now and decide to take action from that inner place.
As mentioned at the beginning of this column, the power of silence is one of the best ways to increase your income and comfort level with other people. Here's the secret: "When you quiet the thoughts in your mind, you become comfortable with the silence in the room." Many people are uncomfortable with silence. But, it is the key to getting people to "relax into yes." If you ask someone if they want to buy your product or service, you need to give them time to answer. Many people have internal self-talk that prevents them from staying silent. Here are a few examples: "I really need this job." "Maybe if I come down in price, they will say yes." "What is taking them so long to decide?"
Once you say something when the person is deciding whether to say yes or no to you, you interrupt the process. Lance Armstrong, who is the winner of six Tour de France races, wrote the book "Every Second Counts." If every second counts in a 21 day race covering 2,106 miles, imagine how much it counts when you are waiting for an answer to one question. So here's the phrase to repeat internally while waiting for an answer: "I am patient and calm." Say it three times and it will give you an extra 5 to 10 seconds of silence depending on how fast or slow you say it. The other person will also pick up on your calm energy and not feel pressured to make a quick decision. Remember, if you don't give someone the time to make a complete decision (and get to "yes"), then they will feel safer saying "no."
This one secret has increased sales by 30% or more for people who use it. A real estate agent used the power of silence to sell more houses. Instead of interrupting the silence by saying "If I throw in the refrigerator, will you buy?" he now stays silent longer and gets more closings without compromising. A personal fitness trainer used this to get more clients. He told a prospective client what his fee was and the client didn't respond. Normally, the trainer would have said "I'll give you a discount" because he wasn't comfortable waiting for the prospective client to answer. Now he waits patiently and calmly and gets the fee he requests.
So whether you are looking for a new job or working at your dream job, remember you can always have more joy, more peace of mind and more success when you trust the process and remember that, spiritually, all your needs are all ready met. Your job is to take action from a place of wholeness and inner peace and watch your results soar. Please feel free to email me your stories of soaring above the radar to john@johnlivesay.com
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John Livesay,
Author
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John Livesay, author of The 7 Most Powerful Selling Secrets: Soar Your Way to Success with Integrity, Passion and Joy, combines 20 years of sales experience into a concise easy to read book to be used as a reference for anyone who wants to be, or already is, in the world of sales.
Having won the W 2003 salesperson of the year award and serving as West Coast Ad Director for W magazine for the last seven years, John has parlayed success after success into a flourishing speaking career on the national circuit.
John's speaking clients range from Range Rover, Charriol, Volvo, Charles David and Jaguar. John is also busy these days as a highly sought after motivational coach to numerous Hollywood celebrities and personalities.
John keeps faithful to all he practices, and inspires others to achieve a new level of success.
The 7 Most Powerful Selling Secrets:
Soar Your Way to Success with Integrity, Passion and Joy
Email your comments & questions for John:
John@johnlivesay.com.
Website:
www.johnlivesay.com
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