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Tarot:
Moment to Moment
The Need for Attention
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by Gigi Miner |
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Not too long ago, a relative took some old home movies and had them combined into a video. There was far less on that video then there were old movies, but the selection contained a fair overview of the family as it was “way back when.”
When I watched that video, I had the opportunity to see myself, at about three-years old, being more me then I would end up being at thirty-three. At that early age, I was not yet subject to “what others may think” nor the need to be other then myself. I watched as that version of me flitted around the screen, jumping into any shot of which I was not already a part. In many ways, this little girl was foreign to me. Years and events eventually changed that vibrant child into a specter; trying hard not to be noticed. What a contrary behavior.
This month’s card is the Queen of Wands. In this card, we see the first-person view of walking onto a stage to take one’s bows. This is a card that screams “attention.” Too often, we tend to think that wanting attention is a bad thing. In fact, it is a natural thing and when one receives enough of it, there is little attempt to “perform” for more. It is when our needs, regardless of what they may be, are not fulfilled, that we seek out something to fill the void.
This month is my birthday. My Aries sun has always cried for attention, but other influences have suppressed much of that, to the point that I rarely met my needs, let alone my wants. The Queen of Wands is a card that touches a deeper place within us, then just the surface of appearances. Note the cat. Cats are creatures of sensuality. If they want to be petted, they let you know. If they want to be fed, there is no doubt in your mind that is what they want. Cats are a good example of what having the need for attention fulfilled can do. For our cat lovers, you may recognize that when you are extremely attentive to your feline friends, they will not only reciprocate, but at times, may simply ignore you. This is not for lack of love, but because their needs for attention are met and so, they go their way doing other things. Conversely, when you have been overly busy and not had time to fawn over them, your cat may meow, jump up onto eye-level furniture, and even give you a good swipe with their claws to gain your attention. Their needs have not been met, so they will behave in, sometimes, obnoxious ways to get those needs fulfilled.
As human beings, we may not resort to biting people to get their attention, but we surely do a myriad of things subconsciously in order to gain some kind of needed feeling of value. What I have seen and experienced is the act of martyrdom. Many of us have had lives that were other then perfect. We have been conditioned to behave certain ways. This will vary from person to person and according to circumstances. There are, however, some basics at which we can look. When we were children and we were ill, some adult may have tended to our needs; taken care of us. Those times, while awful because of illness, also contained some kind of comfort. If, when we get older, we find that we are not getting the comfort we need, we may become “ill” more often. It is not necessarily something we do on a conscious level, but it is natural. What gave us comfort and attention when we were children? If it were having someone nurse us back to health, we might lean toward that area for more. If mom gave us cookies to make us feel better, we might opt for food to fill the voids. If we were given presents to compensate for lack of emotional fulfillment, we may become shop-aholics. No matter what it was that made us feel better then, we will tend to gravitate toward something similar as adults.
Understanding yourself and why you do the things that you do is half the battle toward being a whole person. Our Queen of Wands knows that she thrives on attention. She loves to walk out onto that stage and hear the applause. The flowers are often tokens of affection. Many actors and actresses will fit the Queen of Wands card. What I want you to notice in this particular card is that the crown that the Queen normally wears is set aside. She still owns it. She still has it with her, but this Queen has found her confidence in such a manner that she does not need to flaunt the symbol of her position. Rather, she is quite sure that everyone knows she is the Queen. The crown is not always needed.
Imagine being so at home with yourself and who you are, that you no longer need to make sure the rest of the world notices your attributes. Imagine such self-confidence that you can walk through crowds of enemies and still hold your head high and not be hurt by any cruel words they may fling at you. That is the epitome of this Queen of Wands. She knows who she is. She knows what she wants and, more importantly, what she needs. She is not ashamed to ask for attention if she needs it. She is willing to say, “I need your attention right now.” Imagine how your relationships might change were you to take up this Queen’s wand and actually pursue such things.
One of the hardest things for us to do, especially women, is to ask for those things that we want and need. We have been trained to put the rest of the world before our own needs. If the children need new socks, we will wear our ripped underwear for another month in order to assure that they are well clothed. If our partner needs repairs on their vehicle, we will drive with bald tires to assure their safety. Being a Queen of Wands does not deter us from that kind of selfless behavior. In fact, we may at times put others before us in order to gain attention for our selfless deeds. By meeting certain needs that we have, we have less risk of resenting all of those things that we do for others.
This is not a selfish Queen. She is simply well aware of what it takes to make her feel whole and complete. I am reminded of many a comedy about how men have no clue what it is that women want and need. That is because we so seldom tell them. We tend to function on intuition. If someone we love is sad, we feel it and we try to make him or her happy. Thus, we expect that the men in our lives will do the same. It has been my experience that many are not wired that way. If you tell them what you want and how you want it, many will go out of their way to give you that for which you ask. If you do not tell them, then they are stymied. It is the difference between many men and women.
Our Queen of Wands has learned this about people. She knows that not everyone will be able to sense what she needs, so she makes it clear. She asks for the attention she wants. She goes out and gets that which makes her feel pretty or happy. She does not wait for someone else to fulfill her needs. Doing that would mean waiting and our Queen of Wands may not always be the most patient of people. Notice the sunflowers in the card. Sunflowers are famous for following the sun across the sky, turning their faces toward it throughout the day. Our Queen of Wands can be like the sun. Others will follow her in her journey. They are drawn to her and do not always know why. Self-confidence is a powerful thing. It attracts people to it. The rub is, that that self-confidence comes from getting what one needs and wants. This might seem like an impossible thing to jump into, much like running into a twirling jump rope. All it really takes is practice and timing. If you watch children jumping rope, they will lift and move their hands in synchronization to the twirling of the rope. Once they learn the pattern, they are able to jump in without fault nearly every time. So, too, if we learn our own patterns, we can find out what it is that fulfills us and what it is that we need in order to feel that kind of confidence in ourselves.
There is nothing wrong with wanting attention. It is part of our make up. How we go about getting that attention is what we may need to work on. First, however, we need to figure out what we need and want. We can do this by something as simple as making a list. Much of the reason we do not pursue our desires is because of shame or embarrassment. The best way to overcome this is to make your list while you are alone, and, if the prospect of someone else finding it and reading it is at all terrifying then make plans to destroy it once you have finished it. You can even make a ritual out of it by burning it and letting the flames carry your needs and wants into the universe.
The hardest step is the first one. The rest come much easier. Take the time and write down what you want. Do not be shy or hold back. Write down anything that comes to your mind. This is for your eyes only. You are safe in this venture. After you have expended your ideas, take a look at each item individually. Is it something that you can fix yourself? Is it something that requires someone else to help you? From this list, you can fulfill many of the needs and wants just by acknowledging that they exist. Much like my early movie career, the very fact that in years to come I could admit that I wanted and needed some kind of attention was a very freeing thing. It was the first step toward self-confidence and self-knowledge. My journey is by no means complete. I have many miles more to travel. What I have realized is that part of my journey is to offer directions to other travelers. That, however, I could not do if I did not first recognize my own needs.
Your future is before you. You may not feel comfortable on the stage like our Queen of Wands, but your venue is a place that you will feel most at home. Your first step is to find out what you need. With time and patience with yourself, you can also pass along some of your earned wisdom to future generations. As for myself, I am ready to get on that stage and collect my birthday presents.
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Gigi Miner,
Tarot Consultant,
Author & Teacher
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Gigi Miner, author of "Light-of-Day Tarot & Dreamwork", is a minister, ordained by the Universal Life Church, and has a Doctorate of Motivation from the same. She is a professional Tarot consultant, author, and teacher.
She is presently the chairperson for the Advisory Committee of the American Board for Tarot Certification, working with other professionals in the world of tarot.
Moonlighting as an adult education instructor, Gigi brings that experience into her Tarot and writing work, helping clients and readers to find their own inner wisdom. Gigi has taught classes on tarot in regular and e-formats.
Believing that "laughter is the best medicine", there is often a lighter tone to her teachings. When conducting an adult-education class, one of the main questions she asks is, "Are you having fun?" If the answer is "yes" then she knows that her students are learning more then if she were teaching in a more traditional mode.
Contact Info:
www.geocities.com/ladyfogg
Email : ladyfogg@twcny.rr.com
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