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In Practice: How to Create a Successful Holistic Practice from Start to Success!
Boundaries
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by Shaun Brown |
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Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries! The most important key to open the door to your success as a holistic therapist or just in your life, is the ability to love yourself and others enough to teach and create healthy boundaries. Any other approach is a set up for crisis and resentment-on both sides.
The biggest complaint that I receive from a therapist is: The client shows up late or not at all and expects to reschedule without valuing my time-don’t they know better? Well-no, that’s gonna happen until you start teaching them on the first phone call. You require them to give you 24 hours notice if they need to reschedule or it is considered a forfeit. Also you will state that they need to please show up 5-10 minutes early to fill out a medical form and listen to their needs so the session will start on time--your time.
Detachment with Love
When you let yourself be mowed over, stepped on or conned out of your life force because you don’t have healthy boundaries you are doing no one any favors as a holistic therapist roll model. Having boundaries not only allows people to see what that looks like but it gives them permission to practice having healthy boundaries in their life too.
I adore all of my clients, because I have chosen them. As in any business, there must be a line of demarcation between you as a person and you as a business person. No matter how much comradeship I have with my clients, they know that if they fail to show up to a session, without a 24-hour notice, it is considered a forfeit! This boundary occurs because I have worked on changing my low self-esteem. Esteem means to value. That comes about by continual Inner work; valuing myself without the need to be validated by the world; and teaching my clients how I want to be treated.
My value, what I’m worth, is everything to me. I am learning acceptance and Love for myself as an ongoing project. If you want to add something wonderful to the world become a role model, show people how self-care and value for oneself and honoring others is being who you are.
If the merit of your time is not honored-what you are saying? Does your time have no value or that the client’s time is more valuable than yours? YES! If a client is having a time management problem why should you eat their time and not be paid? I have very loyal clients that every once in awhile have an emergency. As a courtesy to them, I try and schedule them within the week, but if I can’t they know it will be a forfeit. If I don’t give clients “24 hour” cancellation notice they will receive a complimentary session from me-it works both ways.
Clear stated business objectives are a must. If a client “doesn’t get it,” they are not who you want in your business anyway because this unvalued attitude usually doesn’t change. Communication states the rules and educates the client about how you do business and presents your holistic business with integrity, completeness, wholeness, and unimpaired soundness.
Healthy Boundaries
Healthy boundaries separate you and your client from unhealthy businesses. Integrity is essential in your core structure. Mental, physical, as well as emotional and Spiritual boundaries must be initiated. Strong boundaries start from within. They are accomplished by prayer and meditation and feeling connected to your Higher Source for guidance. Spend a great deal of time sorting out the past and moving on. Separating what is your business and what it is not makes for a healthy being.
A boundary separates you, your life force, and energy, from others. A boundary is usually violated because the practitioner has not stated the clear perimeters of conduct or attitude that keeps a healthy relationship with the client intact. For example, a practitioner doesn’t gossip or talk about another person other than the client they are with, working only on the issue that is currently present.
What Not To Do
Early on in my business I thought I could “fix” people. A very dear friend of mine, who came regularly, had a husband that “just didn’t do it right.” He was cranky and unresolved as a Spiritual person. She was going to leave him if he didn’t straighten up. WE set out to fix him. So he starts coming for massage, and eventually he started asking me for help with this issue. I not only wasn’t qualified to therapize, but it was a huge client confidentiality breaker to share what went on in his session with his wife. Being the co-dependent that I was I turned the concerns over to his wife, after all, we were best friends. I thought this would help him get better faster. This went on for a while; he tried none of my suggestions, he remained the same. When it came down to it, she accused me of interfering in their marriage and trying to convince her to leave her husband. Ouch! Since then, we have no relationship together and she has left her husband numerous times. This was a horrible experience that fell under the guise of “helping.” That was the only research and development day I needed to learn that client confidentiality is sacred.
The practitioner must state, or have in writing, guidelines about not engaging in activities outside of the business including a sexual relationship. This should be stated on the confidential medical form. Obviously, having sex with a client is the biggest client/practitioner violation of boundaries.
Boundary Breakers
Spending time with clients outside of your business can put you at risk. Your boundaries become gray areas and you may be asked to break your holistic business boundaries because “we’re friends.” Like, “You don’t mind if I don’t show up for my appointment today do you?” If you don’t tell the truth, you will have resentment, because you are not taking care of yourself. What the client is saying is they are having a time management problem and they want you to eat the time, thus losing money for you. You don’t mind losing money do you? Oh no-jaw clinched.
I call this individual a “boundary breaker.” They want to get something for nothing. Using your “friendship” for favors is a no no. This is not the definition of a friend or a client you want to keep. This is how you gauge being taken advantage of. If a stranger on the street asked you a question like, “You don’t mind if I take money out of your pocket do you?” What would you say? It takes two to get into an unhealthy boundary-breaking situation. This non-value and manipulation can work both ways. Either way you are not friends first, your agreed upon word lies in the holistic business agreement, the agreement of business with boundaries.
If you have stated your 24-hour policy on first scheduled contact AND they have read it when signing their medical form AND it is on your brochure, this clear boundary has already been put in place. That client knows the rules and all you need to do is say: “As you know I have a 24 hour cancellation policy and that time is reserved especially for you. Let me give you my address so that you can mail me the session fee.” Now you will see what kind of client you have. If he/she says absolutely, your time is valuable and I understand-good. If they hang up on you not to be heard from again-good. After you get the guts to insert a healthy boundary like this a few times it will become very natural and you will build a clientele that is solid and trustworthy-because you are.
These types of situations have been labeled “transference,” the inability to separate the client from the practitioner. When you work on your Inner self, in meditation, you will begin to develop the skills to recognize when your boundaries are being invaded. This is a feeling that is developed, not read about.
One intense area I have chosen not to do business in is catastrophic illnesses. We all have a calling, mine is not in the extreme care area. I do not feel that my boundaries are appropriately developed enough to handle clients with cancer or AIDS. However, the practitioner with this calling will know it and be attracted to this specific arena.
Value Hunters
A value hunter is almost as bad as a boundary breaker. They don’t support the symbol of your worth. If you ever have a client that says, “Oh you charge $xx for your services, well I can get it down the street for $x.” Some clients are sent to you to test your metal, to again see how much you value yourself. This is a great test. Your reply to this would be, “I charge $xx.” That’s it and that’s all. You are not a clearinghouse. You have worked hard and honed a craft that requires full-scale acknowledgement. Don’t offer to reschedule bargain hunters that play on your worth insecurities. Bless them on their way.
My loyal ongoing clients get a small break in price, they know it, it makes them feel special and they have been with me for many years. I also charge a very fair rate-just below the norm because I want to be assured that my mortgage is paid. I also do not sit around waiting for the phone to ring because I am slammed with as much work as I need. I don’t charge higher rates because I’m worth it-that is such a trap I see a lot of therapists buying into. If you want to be busy and successful you will work for what the market allows. Once you get massively over run with clients then you can raise your rates a little each year.
No Expectations
When you begin the journey of letting go, setting healthy boundaries, and letting the Universe take charge of your Life, you might notice changes happening. Anything that will stand in the way of you being on your path will fall away. This can be good or bad news depending on how much your ego is invested and in control. Healthy boundaries will always bring change-good.
The falling away could be a relationship, location, job, or attitude. Instinctively, we all know that when we ask for guidance it will come. Listening and doing the suggested gut feeling footwork is another matter. That is why most people don’t truly ask for guidance unless it is the guidance they want to hear. When they receive guidance with an expected personal agenda the reply to the Universe is, “Ok God, that’s not the answer I wanted,” and then proceed to do it their way. When the need to control the outcome is so great, the end pursuit is usually a mess and the controller wonders how they ended up there one more time. They also wonder how they keep attracting crappy clients?
Thank You Again
I have mentioned the necessity of saying thank you before so please humor me as I become redundant and reiterate this action again. Anytime anyone makes the gesture to give to you, ALWAYS say thank you. Whatever the magnitude of the gifts are it could be a simple phone call, a gift of tea or flowers, or a new client referral all warrants a gesture of thank you. I give a client credit toward a session or give a non-client a small gift of soap or whatever. This gives you the ability to go back to the well when your throat is parched, it also keeps the flow going in your direction.
If some kind of reciprocal thank you is not extended, you have interrupted the flow. Likewise, when you give to another it would be nice to hear a thank you because your gesture to give was done freely. If a thank you is not exclaimed you are less likely to continue giving to that person, it feels like they really don’t need your help. As a Mentor, I always make sure I am asked for my help. I watch how my students respond in kind to me. If they learn to say thank you I have done my job, and if they are takers the class is over. It is a waste of life force to continue giving to a black hole.
I move people out of my life that can’t or are not working on “thank yous.” This may seem harsh but just like the vampire, what is their belief system? This belief will carry on into their holistic business. A closed fist that grasps at whatever comes in their direction is back to the survival mode and CANNOT last long in any business.
Saying thank you to yourself is an absolute, this craft of developing a healthy holistic business is hard work. Most of us are constantly learning and shifting into healthier, stronger people as we muster up the courage to let go of old stuff. It takes a lot of constant effort. Thank yourself for all of your intentional efforts.
Later Alligators!
This is the last column and end game of the entire course of, “How To Create A Successful Holistic Business.” I hope it was of great help. So for now I am going In Retreat for the rest of the year; spending more time being a human being instead of a human doing. I am sure in time that God will have yet another plan for me to get excited about and be of Service.
You will still be able to purchase my books: “How To Create A Successful Holistic Practice” or “Intentional Success,” on line on Amazon.com.
BeWell! shaun |
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Shaun Brown,
Holistic Therapist,
Author and Consultant
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Shaun Brown has been self employed most of her adult life. She has an AA degree in General Business and a Bachelor of Arts Degree from University of California, Sacramento, in Communications. Her main focus of education is in advertising, promotion and production. Ms. Brown attended the Health Awareness Academy, in Fair Oaks, California, has practiced bodywork therapy since 1993 and has taught holistic related classes since 1994.
Ms. Brown works, with a team of professionals, including physicians and other health care providers, as well as volunteering her time to work at Mercy Hospice. Her focus is the care of people working in high stress environments, and those suffering from injuries due to a variety of causes.
She is the best selling author of “How To Create A Successful Holistic Practice,” and her newest current release is titled, “Intentional Success-A Workbook For The Holistic Therapist.” Ms. Brown currently has a successful holistic practice in Orangevale, California, is an author, speaker, columnist and consultant. To read a chapter/purchase her books/schedule a workshop visit
Email:
BeWell!
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