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Tarot:
Walking with Friends
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by Gigi Miner |
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Have you ever made a friend, only to find at some point in the future that they were not what you needed? I think many of us could say that. The question is what did we do about it? Did we stay friends because it was too hard to “break up” with them or did we go our own way and leave them behind?
Friendship is one of those things that we seek out early in life. It is also where we learn many of our social skills. We may learn what we should not do to other people, like push them down onto the ground. We might even figure out that being nice to someone helps him or her be nice to us. All in all, we learn much about ourselves via the many friendships we will take and leave throughout our lives. What becomes difficult is when we learn that someone whom we thought was our friend turns out to be someone we do not even know. How is that possible?
Ethyrial Tarot Copyright © 2005 Gigi Miner
Used with Permission
This month’s card is the Three of Cups from the Ethyrial Tarot ©. We see a rocky wall that seems to be falling apart. There are three distinct cups. Each cup shows a phase of the moon and is different from the others. Many times when I have pulled this card in a reading, it has referred to a friendly gathering, celebration, or other types of meetings or rituals. Each cup also can represent the three phases of womanhood, maiden, mother, and crone. Anyone with pagan understandings might tune into those symbols. Intentionally, the cups sit at different levels on the wall. The cup closest to the bottom is for the maiden, or the time of our youth. Things seem very colorful then. We have not yet been subject to enough of life to make use of many special learning situations. We may be naïve and overly trusting as well. During this time, we take friends at nearly any turn. Anyone who wants to be our friend may be. However, there is also that terrible thing called peer pressure that might urge us to avoid certain “lesser” individuals. Here, we listen to what others think and adjust our actions accordingly.
The next higher cup fits with the mother time in life. During this time, we are often too busy to play the games of youth. We are trying to teach our own maidens how to think for themselves and what is right and wrong. Here too is where we learn many lessons with friendship. We will either find that someone is a true friend or not. With so many life events, the stress will ultimately test many a friendship.
Then we reach the crone cup. She sits high on the wall. From here, she can see far more then either of her counterparts. She has already scaled that wall of life and knows what is true and what is false. She also is able to counsel the others should they be smart enough to take advantage of her wisdom.
What I have pointed out is very generalized. Many cups never manage to scale that wall and remain caught in maiden-dom or motherhood. Others seem to climb higher and faster then might be expected. This is where we can learn something about, not only ourselves, but also those we call friends.
I have found and lost many friends in my life. When I was younger, it was very tumultuous. Friends seemed to fall away at an amazing rate. Sooner or later, they would betray or disappoint me. The question remains, did they fall or did I? Regardless of the answer, it is essential that each of us do what is best for our loved ones and for us. Sometimes a friendship will begin and one member requires much of the other. While this is the basis of friendship, supporting one another, there may come a time when one demands too much of the other. An imbalanced relationship of any kind cannot endure. We each need to decide what and how much we can give in any friendship. If the friend wants more then you can give, perhaps it is time to let this friend go. Releasing any friend is a difficult thing, but better we do it before it turns ugly, which it may very well do eventually.
As I have said, I have seen many friends come and go. The circumstances were varied. I have walked with some friends through many hard times. I have given of myself until I felt there was nothing left to give. Still, certain comrades wanted more. Those people I had to leave behind. I have had friends that needed me to become something that I was not. Through subtle manipulation, they tried to sway my behavior to fit their own. While I allowed some of this to go on, eventually, I would turn down a separate path from them as well. Each friendship, whether it still exists or has been sent on its way, was a lesson. For those who required too much of me, I learned what my limitations were and how to say “no”. For those who tried to mold me into a version of themselves, I learned who I am and where my own values lie. Each time a friendship came and eventually departed, I was able to glean something important in the guise of a lesson.
As we look at our cups, they may sit at different levels, but they occupy the same general area. Long ago, women would gather together and tend to chores while chatting and discussing things such as mates, children, and life in general. From these gatherings, the younger were able to learn something from the older and visa versa. Our modern world does not seem to offer many of us that kind of gathering. Few teens sit at the feet of their grandparents listening to their stories of old. Working adults have little time to be quiet and look at a flower with a child, explaining how the bee comes and takes the nectar. So many things that once were a part of our learning experiences have been cast aside in lieu of the fast paced, “gotta go to work” type of lifestyle. Is it any wonder that so many of us are lost and have no clue how to choose a friend, let alone other people in our lives?
As we go down the route of our lives, there will be many cross roads and many forks. Occasionally, we will meet someone who wishes to travel with us. This seems to make the journey a little less arduous. However, sometimes our traveling companion may hoist their load on us to ease their own burden. For a short time, this is not a bad thing. We may feel needed and wanted by their shift of the load. Yet, when they continually allow us to carry everything, it soon becomes evident that we need to give them back, not only their backpack, but their own direction as well. So, we turn down a different road. Next, we find another who wishes to share the road with us and we welcome them to join us. While we are busy getting to know our new friend, we do not notice that we are walking a way we had not previously intended to walk. This can be a minor change of course or it can be something that could potentially alter our entire future. Regardless of how we ended up there, we need to decide if we are there because we want to be or because we followed the lead of our friend. If we find it to be the wrong direction for us, we, once again, need to make a turn and proceed down a path more in keeping with our beliefs and ideals. There is nothing wrong with these changes of course. In fact, they are important and necessary. No matter what kind of relationship we choose, should we find that another’s direction does not lead to the place that we wish to go, it becomes time for us to move on to our own path. While the journey might be a tad lonelier, we will have held true to ourselves. This can apply to family as well as to friends. We cannot live the life of someone else. We do ourselves an injustice if we try.
With November usually comes a change in the weather and our thoughts turn toward the impending holidays. With the change of seasons, why not make some changes to the relationships in your life? For those that are good and supportive and honor who and what you are, let them know how much they mean to you. It is important to offer some kind of recognition for the kindnesses given. For those that hinder your personal growth and the direction in which you wish to go, let them go with your blessing. We cannot change people to suit our needs or desires. We can only accept them for what they are and let them chose the way that is best for them. As such, we must do the same for ourselves.
As we make the necessary changes in our lives, may we always be true to ourselves and be able to find the kinds of relationships that do justice to our essence of being. When we do this, we have the best that we could ever hope for in our lives. We do not need a multitude of friends; we need quality friends and relationships. Our three cups may seem to be alone, but in fact, they are well suited to each other and the path on which they travel. I wish you the best possible companions on your life’s journey and the courage to choose those that are right for you.
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Gigi Miner,
Tarot Consultant,
Author & Teacher
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Gigi Miner is a minister, ordained by the Universal Life Church, and has a Doctorate of Motivation from the same.
“One of the greatest benefits of Tarot is being able to take control of your life rather then be a victim of it,” is the motto of this professional Tarot consultant, author, and teacher, from upstate New York.
Moonlighting as an adult education instructor, Gigi brings that experience into her Tarot and writing work, helping clients and readers to find their own inner wisdom. Gigi has taught classes on tarot in regular and e-formats.
Believing that "laughter is the best medicine,” there is often a lighter tone to her teachings. When conducting an adult-education class, one of the main questions she asks is, "Are you having fun?” If the answer is "yes" then she knows that her students are learning more then if she were teaching in a more traditional mode.
Gigi has written articles for various newsletters, including Tarot Celebrations, World Tarot Network, and Gateway to Tarot. She has released a book entitled, “Light-of-Day Tarot & Dream Work,” which is available at www.lulu.com/ladyfogg.
Her Novel, “Card Shark” is due to be released this fall via the same website.
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Contact Info:
www.geocities.com/
ladyfogg
Email : gigiminer@gmail.com
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