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Humor: Notes from the Trail |
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*Wake Up Laughing --
But For Goodness Sakes, Wake Up!
Dear Swami
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by Swami Beyondananda
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“Where Swami answers your questions, and you will question his answers.”
Dear Swami:
I’m confused. At the bookstore, on the web, in conversations withfriends caught up with one food fad or another, I’m overwhelmed by all of the different diets. Which one is right? And which is right for me?
You must be doing something right in that regard, Swami. Do you have a special diet? And how do you manage to look so slim and trim?
B.K.
Des Plaines, Illinois
Dear B.K.,
It is indeed confusing out there. All those different groups arguing about why their diet is the best -- “diet tribes,” I call them. Now of course you realize that many weight problems are psychological, due to an unresolved Edible Complex. We think something is edible, we eat it, and that’s where the trouble begins. Indeed, science has shown a remarkable correlation between weight gain and eating.
The food industryknows this, so they’ve come up with sugar-free, salt-free, fat-free ...but the ultimate weight-loss food? Flavor-free! Put people on the flavor-free diet, and they’ll eat less. Personally, I’ve settled on the “mucous-free” diet, because frankly mucous is pretty unappetizing and I figure it should be pretty easy to give up. As for the secret of looking slim and trim, if I told you it wouldn’t be a secret, would it? But since the NSA knows all our secrets anyway, I figure what the heck. So
I’ll tell you. The secret to looking virtually perfect all the time? PhotoShop.
Dear Swami:
What is the quickest way to shift my consciousness?
S.D., San Rafael CA
Dear S.D.:
Well, that all depends on whether you want to downshift or upshift.Downshifting is quick and easy. Just turn on your TV, and voila! Just by a flick of the remote, you’ve shifted from consciousness to semi-consciousness. But if you want to shift your karma into surpassing gear up there into higher consciousness, you’ll need a powerful transmission. So the first thing is, go meditate to find out what Spirit wants to transmit through you. Then, whatever that is, do it. As soon as you are doing something that brings Spirit to the world, your consciousness will automatically upshift. True, shift happens. But if we want good shift to happen, we must make the shift ourselves. When we find our own expressway for expressing our spirit, that is where the karma meets the road.
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Swami
Beyondananda,
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Swami Beyondananda is the alter ego of author, comedian and teacher Steve Bhaerman.
In his previous life, Steve has been an educator, author and publisher. The co-founder of an alternative high school in Washington, D.C., Steve is the author of No Particular Place to Go: Making of a Free High School (Simon & Schuster, 1972) and Friends and Lovers: How to Meet the People You Want to Meet (Writer's Digest Books, 1986).
He was an adjunct professor at Wayne State University and University of Michigan, and published his own magazine in southeastern Michigan, Pathways.
For the past 16 years, he has been writing and performing comedy as Swami Beyondananda.
The Swami is author of Driving Your Own Karma, and Duck Soup for the Soul. He is also the founder of the Right-To-Laugh party, and rumor has it he will toss his turban into the ring and launch a run for President this April Fool's Day.
To find out more about the Swami, and how you can promote healing laughter and transformational comedy through the Laughmore Society and the Right-To-Laugh movement, go to
www.wakeuplaughing.
com
or call Swami’s hotline:
1-800-SWAMI-BE.
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Directory!
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