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Creating Bridges: Spirituality & Philosophy:
Wisdom Walks In Circles:
Phases of Adulthood
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by Margaret Lewis |
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Twenty years ago on Halloween at 3:13 AM, I became a mother. As my son, James, begins his second decade, he enters the gateway of first adulthood as I make my passage into second adulthood.
First and second adulthood are the pathways of personal experience that move us in a circular rotation around the Wheel of Life. This spiraling motion leads us deeper into the nautilus of self. We move from the outer surface of experience to our depth images and understandings. The Wheels of First and Second Adulthood are like interlocking gears on a bicycle. Between these wheels is another, the Wheel of Midlife crisis. This Wheel marks a nexus point, a crossroads that stands between life passages, which is often the catalyst of movement from first to second adulthood.
Having just completed our Adult Online Course in the Wisdom Walks Series, I am brimming with reflections of our work with these life passage wheels. The revelations shared by many participants enriched all of our mirrors of self-discovery.
First Adulthood
Entering Adulthood is marked by the passage of leaving home. Can we ever truly leave home? As young adults we believe that physically leaving home is all that is required. But as we age and acquire wisdom, we realize there is much baggage to lay aside as we take our metaphorical steps away from home. At the beginning of our path into adulthood, we fail to realize that leaving home is a process, a lifelong journey. It is a journey that leads us full circle, first away from home and then back again. Hopefully, our circular journey will lead us to discover the authentic adult within.
At adolescence, we move from childhood to adulthood in an effort to establish our identity in the world. This passage begs the question, “Who am I?” The task of our first adulthood is to answer this question by developing our personality and allowing our sense of self to guide us in our daily functioning in the world. This is the way our emerging adult answers the question of the teen’s identity.
During the online course, we placed First Adulthood on the wheel and explored in detail the attributes of this life passage in each direction on the wheel. Through guided visualization and journaling exercises, participants explored and gained many revealing insights. Here is an example of the kinds of questions they answered for first adulthood. Beginning in the West, what were your hopes and dreams? Moving across the wheel to the East, how did you create a role to accomplish your dream? Or did you choose a role or career that did not match your dream? For example, perhaps your dream was to become a writer, but you decided to become a high school English teacher instead. Did you change roles and dreams during first adulthood?
In the North, what did you perceive as your purpose in life and your connection to spirit? And in the South, how would you describe your lifestyle and relationships? How did your financial, relationship and living commitments reflect your personal myth as described in the North? Were there discrepancies? Focus on how you manifested your mythic journey from spirit in the north down into your physical life in the south. What direction received the least attention in your first adulthood and why? If there were missing pieces in certain directions on your wheel, what impact did they have on the person you became in your second adulthood?
Midlife Crisis
Carl Jung describes individuation as a process of ongoing dialogue between our Ego and Self where we choose our mythic symbols to guide us through the adventure of connecting with and remembering the mystery of who we are. This journey of individuation requires suffering, a wounding that allows us to awaken to our true selves and live according to our purpose, which truly is quite simply, to ‘become myself’.
When our wounding appears, we experience it as a crisis. It is a suffering that startles us into realizing that a new sense of consciousness is calling for us. We are being called to a higher level of development and it is going to cost us something in return. Jung said that suffering is always a precondition to the enlargement of consciousness. Our inner nature is asking us to grow and change, and suffering is the means that grabs and holds our attention.
Our psyche is attempting a healing and this often occurs throughout adulthood as we gain the skills and experience to heal ourselves. Most often, our greatest awakening and therefore, our greatest suffering, come at midlife, between the passages of first and second adulthood. Oftentimes, our coping mechanisms, our strategies for success, and our most important relationships fail us at midlife, so that we can grow to greater heights of awareness.
At midlife, we sense our strong desire for psychological and spiritual wholeness. This is the crisis that asks, "What does my life mean?” This crisis asks us to give up who we think we are so we can become who we are meant to be.
If you were to put Midlife Crisis on the wheel, starting in the East is the crisis, where we experience a sense of urgency that requires risking all that we once knew of self, all that felt settled and structured into place. It becomes a very dangerous time of living on the edge, and despite the risks, we cannot turn back from the reality that something must change!
In the West, across the wheel from the crisis in the east, we find our transmutation within the cocoon of our wound, the misery that we can avoid no longer. Our misery leads us deep into the inner realms of self where we seek reformation and transformation.
In the North is our quest for authenticity, where we seek new possibilities for self and we discover what matters, what has meaning for us in life. It is the place where we ask, what does my life mean?
Moving vertically on the wheel from the North’s quest for meaning, we manifest in the South our rebirth of self, where we discover new beginnings in a life of new meaning and authenticity.
Second Adulthood
Second adulthood usually commences at some point between your mid-forties and mid-fifties. This is the time when you flourish on your quest for individuation. You have encountered and surmounted the obstacles of the midlife crisis and you are now ready to re-imagine your identity and bring full meaning to your life. In a sense, you are returning to the Wheel of First Adulthood after a long journey into the dark woods of your soul. You have found your grail and return home ready to share the treasure.
However, the Wheel of Second Adulthood is like a gatekeeper who guards the territory of the new land of your soul. Before you can pass through the gateway, there are tasks you must complete around this wheel.
After participants journaled their sentiments regarding the descriptions of the second adult wheel, I asked them to compare and contrast their wheels of first and second adulthood. When you do this kind of contemplative work deep within your inner silence, surprises and revelations come to the surface. The meaning for the midlife crisis becomes clear. The latticework of connections illumines the continuity and new directions forged between the life passages. The wisdom of your life experience begins to instruct you in ways that make you blush, think twice, and smile.
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Margaret Lewis,
Author & Shamanic Practitioner
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Margaret is a highly regarded professional speaker, workshop facilitator, business and personal development consultant, gifted spiritual practitioner and author. For over 20 years she has provided countless training seminars and workshops on a wide range of life management and personal development skills.
Margaret H. Lewis offers self-development tools for personal transformation that include books, spiritual counseling, and online courses. Embark on your journey of self-empowerment and discover greater access to your inner voice of intuition, which will bring you clarity of individual purpose and the bliss of manifesting your dreams.
Margaret’s upcoming book, Landings, The Spiritual Return to Living Fully in the Body, is due for release in 2006! Read a brief overview of the Landings storyline --
http://www.wisdomwalks.
com/
WhatsNew/WhatsNew.
htm
Margaret’s first book, Wisdom Walks In Circles, The Spiraling Journey of Your Inner Voice, offers a compelling story of a hero's journey to the heart of intuition. In private consultations, Margaret has assisted hundreds of people in releasing the blocks that are holding them back from achieving their goals and visions of fulfillment.
To set up an appointment with Margaret, please email her at
info@wisdomwalks.com
or visit her online store at
http://www.wisdomwalks.
com/.
A Note from Margaret:
Each Wisdom Walks Online Learning Experience, whether it be an online course, personal seminar, or a focused mini-course, addresses a specific life stage and its particular attribute of intuition. There are no pre-requisite courses. You are welcome to join our series of courses from any stage on the wheel of life.
Online courses include a comprehensive workbook, online audio versions of all the meditation and visualization practices, two conference calls with your classmates and Margaret, and the online message board for discussion circles relating to the work of the course.
To Read more about Margaret's Online Offerings
http://www.
wisdomwalks.com/
Services/courses.html
Come join Margret in an online adventure of spirit with unique coursework offering pathways for reuniting with your Wise Inner Teen!
Visit her site for a full course description:
www.wisdomwalks.com/
Services/kuanyin.html
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