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Creating Bridges: Spirituality & Philosophy:
Water For The Dry Sponge
Chronicles and Essays
By Shaun Brown:
GoddessHood
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by Shaun Brown |
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In November I reached the ripe old age of 58, which is the new 38 by the way, and one thing I have noticed about having clicked off that many years, is that I know a few things. I am wiser, have my financial matters in order and most of the outside commitments I have made in life are completed.
Becoming of age I can now look back and breathe a sigh of relief. I am finally free of the life I agreed to live which was an unspoken agenda to be all things to everyone else but myself. Starting at about the age of 44, since my last divorce, I felt a stirring of great change coming. Since turning 50 I had my Goddess party, the skies did part, that great change did come and a new awakened sense of Being had arrived. Having been on the planet longer than most I started taking less crap from others and there were less big deals. There was a feeling of arrival of my own agenda coming from my own insides. But first let me start at square one.
In the beginning I had parents. They showed me the best way they knew how to do life as feeble as it was. At a very young age most of my days were spent hanging out by the creek, playing in the mud or walking in the fields by my parents house. As a first right of passage I was put in school. Being a creative type this was a very annoying event. I had to sit in agony in an enclosed room with an enclosed thought process and wait for that long and slow clicking tick tock to let me out for my favorite time of the day: lunch and recess. My outlook on being stuck inside a cube didn’t change moving into high school. If I wasn’t getting in trouble for talking, which now has become one of my financial mainstays as a speaker, I was daydreaming and waiting for the end of my Senior year. My diploma was the reward. It was a piece of paper that said I could sit through to the end~there will be more paper and more ends to come. I will say one good thing about my marginal education I did learn how to write the language so I can now extol my thoughts to you. Oh yes, and I learned to type~ sort of.
The next suggested right of passage in my American culture was getting married. I was supposed to find my other half outside of me. I did try to find my other half~ 3 times on paper. Each stint lasted about 3 years before the wheels seriously came off of the wagons. I learned how to take orders, serve others, leave notes, return phone calls as to my where abouts while out in the world, and generally making sure I accounted for my time. As a willing volunteer I observed all of the celebrations and holidays, some I still do, kept an orderly house and became a pretty good wife. Many years later, after reading Caroline Myss’s book Sacred Contracts, I realized that I do not have the archetype of marriage. Good to know.
Essentially I came to the realization that someone else would not be taking care of me and I did the only thing I knew how to do at the time~ return to school. The prize once again ~a diploma. This piece of paper took me 5 more years of sitting in endless square boxes listening to endless thoughts so that I could say I sat through to the end. I did like ceramics class. It was the only “A” I ever received through out my entire school career including kindergarten.
My largest block of time spent on any one project was child rearing. I had a son. I like to gently tease him about calling him the guinea pig. Aren't they all? Don’t worry I have made my amends with him. He is now 28 and we are pretty good friends. I told him when he was young, “Son I know that I am screwing you up but I promise I will pay for therapy.” I did and will continue to keep my promise as needed. That completed the list of social contracts I had agreed to accomplish in order to be a part of my culture. Doing these things were also supposed to make me feel whole~it did not.
The first half of my life was not a waste of time, even though I think so sometimes but I hope as we women grow forward we can continue to teach the younger ones that we have lots of options. It was spent thinking that my job was to fix and fill all of the holes and cracks of others, giving of myself without asking. I never felt like a whole person but more like tools from a toolbox being selected depending on the needed situation. Society taught me that I came in parts~ part child, student, mom, wife and fixer. However, this paradigm was all about to change once I turned 50. As some of you can all ready guess, the light at the end of the tunnel would be me and I would become the toolbox.
My first epiphany came when my 3rd divorce happened. There was an empty space that I had filled in for someone else. Fortunately I had enough guidance in my life at the time, and also daily meditation, that instead of continuing on the same path, that of getting married the fourth time, I redirected my energy back to myself. That part of my energy that I used to spend finger painting or running through the grass before I started school could now return to me.
The second epiphany came when my son finally moved out for the third time. That was a big space to fill. Children teach you to have unconditional love for another and also patience. Both tools served others but not myself. Upon his gone there was a hole in the fabric of my life. Again I sought help instead of repeating the same behavior. This can be the point in life where a woman decides to have a child in her 40s. I took that hole and learned to refill it with my feelings for my inner child. Getting to know me and going through all of the guilt and fear of letting go of my old life was scary. Facing the fact that I would be independent not co-dependent was not what I was taught but independence came with baby steps.
The third epiphany was glorious Menopause: the best thing that ever happened to me~ no more periods. All of that energy that was used to pour out into the world goes straight to your 6th chakra, God’s eye and your intuition becomes brilliant! Having a client based business for some time I have had the chance to listen to many, many women about their thoughts and fears entering the beginnings of menopause. Having done as much self educating as possible, listening to my wise women mentors including Dr. Christine Northrop, it turns out that menopause starts in your mid to late 30’s and ends sometime in your 60’-70s. We are not taught this nor are we taught how to handle our feelings about this. We as women can get in touch with our bodies and our cycles and learn simple natural methods~herbs and the like to experience the most wonderful Goddesshood ever! We learn to take back our power that we have doled out so freely and use it for our own creativity. We start listening to guided information through meditation and that gut feeling becomes much clearer. And if we listen we become happy and healthy and that is what our real gift to the world is~ to be real. That’s what being a wise woman is all about.
Usually starting with their first hot flash I have seen women entering menopause choosing one of two doors. Door number one~they freeze and start taking harmful lab created pills that control the symptoms of this extraordinary time and they dumb down. They also let doctors chop off parts of them and sew up their flesh making them think they appear younger OR door number two~ they embrace this incredible gift and right of passage and start getting to know themselves and know how their bodies work and that their greatest accomplishment is to express Self Love. (Read: “Women’s Bodies Women’s Wisdom” ~Dr. Christine Northrup)
So once my son moved out I chose door number two and set out to do just that. Learning to go to dinner with friends or even by myself. Learning to choose for myself and discover what my needs were. Continuing to deepen my relationship with my Higher Power the God within. Changing my verbiage to say this doesn’t work for me or this does work for me. Many, many choices and changes have been made for me to come back to wholeness and become like that child before that first day of school. I have gotten back into my garden; I play in the mud and ride my bike. Oh, and I have also discovered power tools!
Now that I have found balance in myself hormonally, learned to touch base with my Soul and really embrace this next stage of my life it feels like a huge deep breath and then an exhale….ahhh. What a wonderful and powerful place to be. Being in my late 50’s I also have the power to share with other women about my experiences as they too are nudging on the cusp of 50 or Goddesshood. We as women must help the next generation to expel their fears about menopause. Make this right of passage a wonderful dance and pull the covers on the myth that says when women get older they don’t have value.
Even though I had written music since 1973 I didn’t get enough courage to write my first book until I was 52 and it became a best seller in N. California. I am here to say that I not only have more balance and health including mental awareness, than ever before, but there is also a sense of r-e-s-p-e-c-t (good old Aretha) confidence and joy that my auric field emits to the world because that is how I feel about myself. I am no longer just parts, I don’t have to explain myself to others, I can spend my money how I wish , I can burp and make other noises in my own house, I don’t have to leave a note as to my where abouts. I really don’t have to check in with anyone if I do not wish to~ I am free.
Being a Goddess is about coming back home to yourself, having served your duty as an American woman in this society choosing to give pieces of yourself to fill in other pieces of someone else is usually our beginning. We have the freedom to then let go of all of that outside stuff, that zaps our energy with smackings of martyrdom, and go to our insides communing with our Inner Spirit. This is the place where your new life the second half starts, this is the energy that heals the world as you heal yourself, become whole so that wholeness is what you radiate. Be whole as the roll model calling back all of your parts; this is Nature in it’s perfect order. Be not afraid if you are just starting this journey of exploring the new you. Grab a mentor.
I don’t feel that enough is being said about our beauty as we enter Goddesshood and I hope just sharing my thoughts will give you courage, direction and inspiration as you experience the most important time of your life. Do Trust that the Universe will take care of you. Take the time to pull your curtains and look inside! I have not yet once discovered a woman that did not find, once sought, a beautiful, intelligent and creative being residing at their inner core. I have friends that I hang out with and have an active social life BUT the most important thing that I know is I am connected with a Power greater than myself AND I am also my own best friend.
If you haven’t heard this outlook much you are hearing it now. We as expressing the Goddess are here to share Inner peace and Knowing. We are Powerful, strong and beautiful beings I only hope that more and more continued generations of women will get this message sooner than I did.
When it comes to filling out the form for my next lifetime, however, there are two things I would change: I would check -No Children and -Good At Math. BeWell my friends the world is waiting for you to come full circle and share your authentic self with all~this is your real mission ~Know Yourself again. Happy Holidays!
Shaun Brown~Author
BeWellPublications.com |
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Shaun Brown,
Author, Speaker,
Columnist
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Shaun Brown has been self employed most of her adult life. She has an AA degree in General Business and a Bachelor of Arts Degree from California State University, Sacramento, in Communications.
Her main focus of education is in advertising, promotion and production. Ms. Brown began writing music 1971 and has continued to unfold as a writer in many other directions since that time.
Her best selling book is based on the course: "Create A Successful Holistic Business." She has authored two books on the subject and is actively involved in teaching workshops in N. California. Her holistic business articles are published in several national holistic magazines, and she has a successful holistic practice in Orangevale, California.
To find out more about Shaun’s books and workshops visit her on-line at
www.BeWellPublicatons.com.
BeWell!
Shaun Brown
BeWellPublications.com
916) 988-4322
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