Sonia Choquette

The fourth chakra is located near the region of our heart in the center of the chest. This center, when awakened and balanced, governs our feelings of compassion, forgiveness, understanding, generosity, empathy, caring and love. The heart is the domain of human intimacy; it activates our capacity to both give and receive affection, warmth, nurturing, friendship and familiarity. On an energy level, it connects the lower ego or physical self, to the higher soul or spiritual self. Just as the heart is the most important organ in the body, so is the fourth chakra, our spiritual heart center, the most important energy center in our psychic make-up. This is because love is the greatest power in our lives and the highest channel of life force available to us. On the color spectrum, this center vibrates energetically to the color green. Its mission statement is “I give. I care. I receive. I love.”

The heart is the seat of the soul, our spiritual and Divine Essence. Once we establish and balance our personal sovereignty we are then able to travel energetically upward into this fourth center of energy where we begin to open our heart and connect with our fellow man. It is here, in the fourth chakra, that we are endowed with the capacity to feel joy, unity and laughter and love and share it with those around us. It stimulates our highest ideals and desires, not only for our own good, but also for the good of others and the world. When our heart is balanced and open, we feel a genuine sense of flow through our lives, affirming our well being and spiritual purpose on earth. We realize our connection to all that is and we begin in the deepest sense to trust others and ourselves. When our heart center is balanced, we are able to partake of and share in all the Universe has provided.

On the emotional plane, the heart is the domain of understanding, empathy and concern for our fellow man. Being the center of love, the heart chakra is naturally associated with family, parents and children, lovers, friends and spiritual family and even animals. When open and balanced, we care how we affect others and want to affect them in a positive and nurturing way. This is the energy center that encourages us to shift away from the frame of mind “me against the world” toward a more generous and friendly “me as part of the world” outlook. We establish rapport with those around us, value their point of view, and feel compassion and empathy for them, wanting as much for others as we do for ourselves. The fourth chakra is the center of touch and nurturing and awakens our desire to be held, and cared for. It expresses itself in affection and kindness, and our ability to be loved and partnered.

On a physiological level, when our heart chakra is balanced, our blood and circulation flows smoothly, our heart rhythm is regular and our arteries are open. This center also governs the health of our breasts, lungs, shoulders and esophagus. The health of our physical heart is greatly influenced by our spiritual heart center, and many people who have difficulty giving and receiving love freely, or who feel unloved, also, not surprisingly, suffer from heart disease or disability. When your spiritual heart is closed, you feel heavy in the chest; your breathing is labored or you take in too much oxygen.

The heart center expands our capacity to be generous, sensitive, kind, merciful, forgiving, tolerant and emotionally tender. It opens our ability to see into the hearts of those around and recognize the goodness in all people, even when their behavior isn't considerate. Such love is apparent in the parent who loves their child even when he or she is throwing terrible tantrums or the spouse who loves his or her alcoholic partner. When we have an open heart we overlook others' faults and celebrate their strengths.

Resonance

When our heart center is balanced, we actually establish energetic resonance with others, entering into a common vibration. When we are on the same energetic wavelength with others, we communicate on a higher level than words allow. We enter into an energetic rapport that is based on complete understanding and acceptance of one another. We've all had these spontaneous heart based connections, such as when we encounter someone we instantly like or feel as though we've known in the past. In fact, such rapport is often the gateway to love relationships. Do you remember the excitement you felt when you first met your beloved? How you actually thought of the same things at the same time and didn't even need to speak? When this occurs, you are definitely connecting on a heart level.

Because of its attractive and magnetic qualitites, an open and balanced heart center creates synchronicities that seem to fill your every need. The Universe is a hologram aware of all of its parts at all times, and when we move into our heart chakra, we shift into this holographic vibration. This allows the way for the Universe to fill any void that we may be experiencing in our life, giving us exactly what we need, bringing us our heart's desire.

The heart chakra awakens a profound realization of our place in the larger scheme of things; it also governs harmony, balance, and global perspective. As the heart opens, we begin to comprehend that even though we have physical bodies, we are in fact spiritual beings, connected to everyone around us, by the breath we all share. We begin to understand that life is a classroom, in which we are all here to learn. Ultimately, nobody fails the curriculum, which is to learn to love unconditionally.

When the heart is balanced, we come to recognize that we are not defective creatures unworthy of love, but rather precious children of the Universe. We begin to love ourselves in a deeply compassionate and unconditional way, which opens the door for us to extend such love outward. Because the heart rules balance, it is also important to realize that it can only remain open and flowing if we are willing to receive the good we give out. In order to be balanced, love must flow both ways.

One of my favorite Chinese sayings is, “Until you are willing to receive what you give, and willing to give what you receive, you do not understand love.” This is what the heart center is about, learning to balance the act of giving and receiving love without restriction, or ulterior motives.

The balanced heart awakens our capacity to accept love from others. It ushers in relief because nothing heals more profoundly than to feel lovable and to be loved in spite of our weaknesses. In fact many metaphysicians, myself included, believe that the root of all emotional and even physical illness originates with the feeling of a loss of love, and more specifically a belief that we are undeserving of love. When the heart is balanced, and love flows, emotional wounds begin to heal. We also begin to break free of the negative patterns of behavior that keep us feeling defensive and judgmental, isolated and alone, unable to reach out or ask for or accept help.

Love, as opposed to sensuality or sexuality, is a quiet and contemplative energy. This energy, originating in our spiritual heart, flows through our physical heart and radiates outward. It is the most compelling energy there is, both to the sender and the recipients. It is an uplifting, calming, reassuring vibration that eases even those who have been most traumatized. Remember the last time you were in love? Remember the exhilarating and deeply nurturing feeling it brought to you? When the heart is operating at its best, every day feels like being in love.

A Heart-Based Person

When your heart is balanced, you accept yourself and others without judgment. You look for the beauty and divine spirit in everyone and overlook their weaknesses. You are kind and forgiving, slow to find fault and quick to pardon. An open heart is tolerant and optimistic, resourceful and humorous. Your intentions are kind and your generosity is genuine. A person with a balanced heart is very healing and comforting to be around, because you feel safe and make those around you feel accepted and appreciated without condition. Your perspective is always oriented toward solution rather than problem, and your expectations for positive outcomes are very high. You will tend to attract the good things in life to you, and may be perceived by others as "lucky" or "blessed".

It’s not hard to identify people with a balanced heart. They are easygoing, accepting, graceful and soothing to be around. They have a charismatic quality about them, drawing others as though they are being pulled toward a warm and healing fire. A person with a balanced heart seems to bring oxygen into a room. Everyone around such a person seem to be able to breathe more deeply and easily. A balanced heart stirs up happiness and laughter and a sense of safety. When you encounter such a loving presence, you feel more loving and lovable yourself. You can particularly feel this in the chest area, as your anxiety fades, constrictions ease up and positive energy fills your body.

Love is the Small Things

As we awaken to love, we sometimes feel we must now perform extraordinary acts to prove to others and ourselves that we are indeed, loving. Unfortunately, even the best intentions can go awry because mundane life doesn't always appreciate them. Besides, needing to be extraordinary in any way is still your ego talking, and not your heart. It is much more useful to forget about extraordinary gestures of love, and simply love extraordinarily in the daily gestures of life. When serving breakfast to your kids, for example, be a little more patient and smile instead of tossing their cereal in front of them with a sharp "Hurry up or you'll be late!" When you open the morning paper, ask your spouse, "What section would you like to read first this morning?" and then hand it over. In other words, every ordinary moment throughout the day affords you an opportunity to be loving. It isn't so much what you do that demonstrates love, as it is the way in which you do it.

When I was a teen-ager I often called my father late in the evening to come and get me because I didn't have a car. He showed up every time, and more importantly he came lovingly. He never made me feel guilty or even made a big deal about it. He just quietly showed up. His acts of love were founded in his consistency. I had the benefit of knowing I could count on him, which laid a foundation of security under my feet. My mother had her own way of turning the small matters of life into opportunities to love as well. Whenever I needed a costume, a dress or something special to wear, my mother would stop everything and get to work. Not only did she sew for me, she did it with enthusiasm! The best way to usher love into your life is to do what you must, but do it lovingly. And if you must do something that you don’t want to, use it as an opportunity to practice love.

When I first became a flight attendant, I found that I wasn't particularly good at it, because I didn't like to serve people over and over again. In fact I resented this which made my job unbearable. I called my teacher Charlie one day and said; "I hate this job. I am destined to be greater than this!" He laughed at me and asked, "Greater than what?"

"Greater than serving coffee, tea, and bad food all day to cranky passengers. I want to be an intuitive and a healer, not a flight attendant!"

Charlie was silent for a moment, and then he said, "Until you serve everyone you encounter with love in your heart, you are not worthy or capable of helping anyone. Every passenger on board is your teacher. You are arrogant in distancing yourself from them. Each one of those passengers holds the spirit of God within them, and until you see that, you don’t see anything that would qualify you as an intuitive or a healer. Now go back to work and quit your complaining. Be grateful to those passengers. The more unpleasant they are the more they are helping you learn to love!"

That was a slap in the face for me. And yet he was right. I had a bad attitude, and it was making me, and everyone I was in contact with, miserable. I decided that day to change my attitude and do my job with love. Overnight the job transformed. I began to enjoy the people and have more fun. I even got better trips, which was a miracle because my job was seniority-based and I was near the bottom of that totem pole. The real surprise came when I was asked to do the first class service from Chicago to London every weekend for a year. This was like getting a paid vacation once a week; it was probably one of the best times in my life. When I did my work with love, no matter what work it was, life became a joy.

This is the secret then to opening your heart. In the generous decision to surrender your ego and participate fully in your life, without withholding, without separating yourself, without needing to be special, without wanting something special in return, life bursts wide open and brings you every possible gift you can imagine and more. Life lived lovingly restores balance and attracts grace. And it's easy, once you decide that you want this in your life. Mother Theresa summed it up best when she said, "I do not do great things. I only do small things with great love."