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The Blue Woman came up out of the water, flew over a row of houses, crossed Bay View Point Drive, and found me in what was dubbed the “bonus room” of a freshly built home. I was there at midnight, alone and trespassing in the vacant house. I sat quietly, an unsigned lease in my hand, trying to discern if my intuition was truly correct. And if it was, trying to understand why I would be asked to sell my current home, take the profits and rent an expensive, way-too-big, architecturally beautiful, brand new water view house, especially when I had no “real job.”
All the synchronicities—which I had asked for—repeatedly pointed directly to this house. And it was clear that the house I’d been living in for the previous five years was dark and suffocating to me. But how would I explain this economically foolish move to my friends, even the ones who understood that sometimes a Blue Woman can come up out of the water and across the street to deliver a message? And how would I explain such extravagance to those I advise that simple living brings the greatest joy? I’m a shaman, for goodness sake. Not a princess. I don’t need fancy.
She Spoke
“I need you here, close to the water, so I can work with you,” the watery Blue Woman said, as real to my vision as watery women get.
That is all she said. But that was all she had to say. Either she was real, and her message true, or everything I was basing my life on was false, and I was in deep trouble whether I took this house or any other. I did the only thing I could do.
I Signed The Lease
In the three years since that night, my life has had as complete a makeover as my living space. My first novel came out in three languages and was distributed in nine countries. I finished and published my second novel, and my website, BeWhoYouAre.com expanded to offer my both novels online for free. I also began presenting international workshops and my private shamanic practice grew.
If that was not enough, I met my beloved soul mate, and went from being a single mother with custody of my two children every other week, to being a wife and mother with both children full-time, plus two more college age step-children part-time. Full of love, the “way-too-big” house actually began to feel small.
To top it off, I made an investment with my initial home’s income that paid off so handsomely, it nearly covered the full three years of rent.
At The Hub
At the hub of all this change, I lived in a beautiful home and visited the Blue Woman at the beach often. She knew that “home” was critical to my well being, especially as I expanded into my newly emerging roles. She knew I would respond to the light from so many windows, the beautiful bay air, and the space to create the woman I wanted to be. Though I didn’t need fancy, I did need what she offered, and this hand-picked home really did make a difference.
Though it is tempting to think we find our homes, decorate them to our liking or to the extent time and budget allow, and then live in them, I believe the reality is quite different. I believe we create our homes within the opportunities and limits that the space and structures offer, and then the spirit of that creation becomes what feeds, comforts and inspires us—or not. It is a living, breathing, co-creative process.
Light, Color, Space, Design
For those with the privilege of a wide range of opportunities, “home” is a fantastic avenue for exploring our creative urges—those places where our true beauty can reveal itself. Such self-discovery is an honor not to be squandered. After all, so many women around the world haven’t even a small space to call their own, let alone the resources in which to create such high art.
And yet, so often we do squander this opportunity. We get stuck in our homes, as we do in our lives. Life force drains out, things pile up, we become congested with yesterday, and have no room to breathe in today, or dream for tomorrow. In this case, the shaman suggests an outer shapeshift to create inner transformation.
What The Shaman Sees
Using the intuitive aspects of my shamanic gifts, I would consider it practically cheating if I could actually see a woman’s home before offering her insight and wisdom, because her “living” space house reveals all.
Is her home open and spacious, or tight and withholding? Is the color bright and varied, or tame and muted? Or is there any color at all? When I first lived in the new house, all the walls were brand-new-white, and I kept it that way on purpose. I liked the light bouncing off the walls, and the windows that created such an open feeling. Only when my family moved in full-time did I also move to add accent walls of bright color.
Is her home’s beauty organic, creative, and evolving, or something that stays stagnant even as the woman’s life changes? Is it full of stuff? And if it is, is it stuff she loves and can’t part with because it makes her smile? I know one woman whose home is a tribute to hippopotamuses. There are dozens in most rooms, but it is great fun for her and everyone who visits. I know other women who live in their mother’s houses, revealing a guilty, sluggish, forced “inheritance” that offers no room for individual expression.
Who Is In There With You?
Is there kid stuff strewn about and pet hair on everything—loving (albeit sometimes annoying) evidence that kids and dogs are viewed as worthy of the space they take up? Or is that evidence neatly packed away and under a frantic control?
Is the home central to those living there, or is it a monument to someone gone and so a graveyard of the past? One thirty year old client told me that her home was still a monument to her, with literally hundreds of pictures and pendants from her early life still hanging on the walls. She had been a much awaited only child, and letting her go was to let go of the central focus of her parent’s entire married life. It made her uncomfortable, and I suggested that a part of her spirit might be stuck in her parent’s home, even though she had physically moved on. This also happens when a loved one crosses over but the family cannot let go.
True to form, the home will reveal the woman. Our choices, conscious or unconscious, in the creation of our homes are not necessarily good or bad. But they are revealing, especially if there are extremes.
The Good News
While this may seem like bad news to those unhappy with what their home reflects, I suggest that it is wonderful news. Because while our level of personal physical beauty is difficult to change (I’m never going to look 22 again, even with the most extreme of makeovers), our homes can be a place where we create and recreate, and thus see the reflection of our own true beauty in our surroundings. We can also attend to our “stuck” patterns and begin to consciously express new ones.
We can experiment, try out who we are now—red plaid or solid teal? Overstuffed or straight-backed? Clean-lined Zen or down home at the farm? Most important, we can move from a home that is a result of our lives to a home that sets its direction.
This does not have to happen in a total home makeover. Like extreme dieting, that won’t really work anyway. Bringing light and consciousness to our lives is a process, and the process really is the fun part.
A Room Of Her Own
It may not be possible for some to claim a whole room, or it simply might seem too scary. Those who have yet to find they are worth the space they take up in the world at large often find it hard to claim any “just me” space at home. In which case, I suggest she take a corner of a room, or even closet (or one shelf of a closet), to claim as hers and hers alone. It’s a bold move for some, and a no-brainer for others.
Whatever space you have to begin with, the process is the same. First, get rid of absolutely everything that is not downright delightful to you. Remove anything that holds the energy of days gone by, unless those memories are truly sweet (bittersweet is not the place to start a makeover). Clean and clear the space by using a candle, the smoke of sage, or a loud noise (a Feng Shui secret) such as clapping or a sacred rattle or drum. Feel your heart open to make room for this new source of beauty.
Now, create you sacred space using color, art, words, pictures—anything that allows you to begin where you are, and grow from there. When creating collage art in my workshops, I always suggest that the women find the colors, textures and pictures that appeal to their emerging self, and rip them out quickly, even if they don’t make perfect sense as a package. That way they can be surprised by what is trying to happen in their lives. The same can be done when gathering items for your sacred space. You don’t need to go out and buy all new furniture. Simply rearrange what you love, set an intention, and something new will show up.
A Few Recommendations
From here, I suggest just a few more Feng Shui cures that do wonders to creating beautiful personal space. Leave at least 50 percent of all shelf space clear, put nothing directly on the floor, and put something bright and shiny in dark corners. These will air out any stagnant spaces and give you the feeling that there is room to breathe when you experience your sacred space.
As a shaman, I would also suggest bringing in something to represent fire, wood, metal, water, and earth. We are creatures of form, and to honor all the elements is our way of saying “thanks for the experience.” It also creates a balance of those energies. And, if you happen to know what your best elements are via astrology, Feng Shui, or your needs as evidenced in Chinese medicine, let them dominate.
Honor the Space That Feeds Your Soul
Especially as women, the space we live in feeds our soul. So it is most important that everything we put into our cleared, personal space is set with soulful intention and meaning. Perhaps you feel the blue vase goes with the small Buddha, because flowers are the most beautiful expression of peace you know, and you would like to see it in more areas of your life. Or maybe you would want to set the wild red shoes atop a stack of travel books, setting a powerful intention of passionate, fun-filled adventures—if only in your own fertile and creative mind.
Home Creates Home
Knowing how deeply I feel about my home, I realized that this was a powerful place to set my most important intentions. So when I was looking for my soul mate, I spent seven months putting fresh petals around my bed every three days, and using only 600-count linens that felt out-of-this-world to sleep in. It was how I would have been willing to treat my beloved, so why not myself?
When Brian finally arrived, I realized that I had become accustomed to feeling absolutely wonderful in bed. It was my norm. All I had to do was learn to share.
In case you are wondering, yes, I worried a bit about the cost, and was I worth it, and was I being materialistic, and all of that. Yet when I figured it out, in the seven months, I probably spent no more than $280, or $40 a month. It wasn’t such a huge price to pay, especially with what I received as a result. And if I didn’t have the $280, I could have used my imagination to simply “imagine it into being” every day for free.
Home Is Where The Heart Is
And the heart is wherever we are. So it is important to take a little bit of sacred space with us when we travel. A candle to light and clear a room, a few small sacred objects laid out on a lovely fabric square, and poof, you are at home.
With these simple gestures, we can attune ourselves to what is meaningful to us even in the most cardboard-cutout of hotel rooms, or in someone else’s dominating space. Honor your home space even a little, and it will honor you, wherever you are.
This Month’s Shapeshift
With symbol and intention, the possibilities of shapeshifting our sense of beauty in our lives are endless. It is especially true in our homes. This month, begin with your imagination. See yourself decorating a small space within your home with only your personal preferences, and then embodying that space. What does it look like? What is removed? What is added? What colors? What style? Most important, what does it feel like?
Now, imagine a larger space, created to your personal liking. A whole room, then a house. Design it inside, and out. Extend to the yard—the yard of your dreams. Then the neighborhood. Who are your neighbors? Do you have any? Move toward your town or city. Fill it with your favorite kind of stores, roads and paths, and vehicles, be they cars, trolleys, bicycles, or tricycles. With each expansion, see yourself as the creator and the one who receives from her creation. Move to create your state, and then your country. What are your politics like? How do you decorate the White House? (I would go for a nice yellow, but that’s me.)
Now, The World
Your earth. Grow big and bigger, and then fill your new earth with your preferences. Decorate it with you. Let it reflect your beauty back to you. See yourself embodying this beauty, this world of you, and walk in this beauty, no matter what the “real world” looks like outside your window today.
Moving back into ordinary reality, with the feeling of your vision intact, begin to create this space in whatever room you have available. Even if it only one shelf in a rarely used closet, care for your true space by keeping it sacred. Attend to it as you would a great Buddha or goddess. Honor your space by enjoying it fully. Set your intentions to see the feeling of this space ripple out into other areas of your life. Become the beauty you create.
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