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Humor: Notes from the Trail
*Wake Up Laughing --
But For Goodness Sakes, Wake Up!
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Dear Swami Beyondananda
“Where Swami answers your questions, and you will question his answers.”
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Swami Beyondananda on the Law of Attraction
Dear Swami:
I keep hearing about this Law of Attraction, but it doesn't seem to work for me. Every time I am attracted to someone, they end up being attracted to someone else. And money? Forget about it. The more I affirm, the less I seem to have. I've tried meditation, I've tried affirmations, I've read books and attended seminars but somehow the Universe doesn't seem to be getting my messages. Swami, am I missing something?
Erna Liddle,
Lexington, Kentucky
Dear Erna:
You came to the right Swami with this question, because I had the same experience years ago. As a young seeker, I found myself unemployed and without money. Today, I refer to that time as my "Baroque Period" -- you know, so Baroque I was Haydn from the landlord. Anyway, I knew with certainty that all I needed was to harness the power of the mind, and my needs and desires would be fulfilled. One Friday, I received a notice from the utilities company that on Monday, they would come to turn off my electricity for not paying. And so I began my intensive affirmation process that a large check I was expecting would indeed arrive by Monday. With each affirmation, I felt more confident and certain.
Sure enough, on Monday the doorbell rang. It was a huge Czechoslovakian guy who said, "I'm here to shut off your electricity." And so I learned a valuable spiritual lesson. If you want the Universe to do your bidding, you have to spell it out.
But I really learned about the Law of Attraction when I did my apprenticeship in Texas as a sacred cowpoke with the legendary master of meditation and outdoor cooking, Baba Q. Every Sunday, at his ranch the I'm OK You're OK Corral, we would have an attractor-pull where we would practice pure animal magnetism. I became a champ, and believe me, it's quite a feeling walking around with a hundred or so gophers (and an occasional armadillo) stuck to you.
It was during that time (which I now refer to as my Gopher Baroque Period) that I learned something that might be of help to you. The entire problem with affirmations is that we use them to ask for what we don't have because if we already had it, we wouldn't be asking for it, would we? The problem is, that in doing the affirmation, we are first and foremost affirming we don't have something. That is the thought we are broadcasting, and the Universe dutifully sends us more of the same. That is how the Law of Attraction becomes the Law of Repulsion.
So how do you trick the Universe into giving you something you don't already have? By fully feeling that you already have it. That's right. The key to fulfillment is full-feelment. And in solving this tricky problem, I inadvertently found the secret to health, wealth, relaxation and release of worry once and for all. After years of trying to live in the now, I decided to get ahead of the game. I bought a condo in a future of my choice, and I've been living there happily waiting for the world to catch up.
© Copyright 2007 by Steve Bhaerman. All rights reserved. Give the gift of laughter with Swami's Fool Enchilada Special. To find out more about that and Swami's schedule, call (800) SWAMI-BE or visit the Swami online at http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=
95zuh4bab.0.cfspzubab.dkbdftbab.3827&ts=S0241&p=
http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wakeuplaughing.com
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Swami
Beyondananda
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Swami Beyondananda is the alter ego of author, comedian and teacher Steve Bhaerman.
In his previous life, Steve has been an educator, author and publisher. The co-founder of an alternative high school in Washington, D.C., Steve is the author of No Particular Place to Go: Making of a Free High School (Simon & Schuster, 1972) and Friends and Lovers: How to Meet the People You Want to Meet (Writer's Digest Books, 1986).
He was an adjunct professor at Wayne State University and University of Michigan, and published his own magazine in southeastern Michigan, Pathways.
For the past 16 years, he has been writing and performing comedy as Swami Beyondananda.
The Swami is author of Driving Your Own Karma, and Duck Soup for the Soul. He is also the founder of the Right-To-Laugh party, and rumor has it he will toss his turban into the ring and launch a run for President this April Fool's Day.
To find out more about the Swami, and how you can promote healing laughter and transformational comedy through the Laughmore Society and the Right-To-Laugh movement, go to
www.wakeuplaughing.
com
or call Swami’s hotline:
1-800-SWAMI-BE.
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