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Angels, Guides, &
Loving Spirits: Love Letters
Truth Be Told
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by Erika Morrell |
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The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple. -Oscar Wilde
We all have something to say. We all have feelings about everything that happens in our relationship. We all request of our partners to be truthful and honest, because most of us have had the rather painful experience of being hurt by lies and some form of deception. Most of what we communicate we believe we are doing because our partner “needs” to know how we feel, we are “just trying to be honest”, or our partner has asked us to be truthful. We often end up creating a great deal of damage to the relationship in how we present our “truth”.
Yes, it is important to be truthful and honest! To be deceitful or devious is wrong, and in a love relationship it is unacceptable. The only way Love can exist by definition is if there is trust, and trust cannot exist if there is any form of deception present in the relationship.
There are two different ways to be truthful. The first way I call Enhancement Truth®. In speaking Enhancement Truth® we do what is best for the relationship, both partners feelings are taken into consideration, our communication is compassionate, loving and leads only to pro-active dialog that supports the growth of the relationship and the rectification of whatever the conflicts are. The second form of the truth is Destructive Truth, unfortunately this is the truth that most of us speak, and it is the way in which we know to be truthful. We just speak our truth because we need to “get it off our chest”, or have our partner understand “our truth”. We have a tendency in this kind of truthfulness to focus on what is not working for us, what is wrong, and how in one way or another we are being wronged or failed. We are often times frustrated and angry. Destructive Truthfulness® never leads to anything positive for the relationship; it creates more problems, hurt feelings, and sets up a lack of safety in the relationship.
Enhancement Truth® serves one purpose and one purpose only; to enhance the relationship, to make it better, more pleasurable; and more enjoyable, and to deepen the love and trust. To participate in Enhancement Truth® the following nine criteria must be able to be met.
1. I am clear about how I feel, what I want to express and why.
2. It is best for the relationship.
3. I am living in the moment.
4. I can express myself in a calm, grounded way, using a soft, gentle voice. I can express myself with love and compassion, taking my partner and their feelings and point of view into consideration.
5. I can express positives about the relationship.
6. I am clear how I would like my communication to better the relationship/situation.
7. I am ready to share my pro-active ideas on how to have my statements work as a bridge to solutions.
8. I am ready, willing and open to listen to my partners input.
9. I will not repeat myself. I will understand that I was heard and responded to and deal with it from there.
I AM CLEAR ABOUT HOW I FEEL, WHAT I WANT TO EXPRESS AND WHY.
Often times what drives us to feel the need to speak “our truth” is we feel angry and/or wronged. We want our partner to understand our point of view and to “get it.” In those moments we are not communicating out of love, but anger. In those moments some part of us is looking to punish our partner for what they did or did not do. Maybe we are looking to relieve our own guilt or dissipate our own feelings. So I ask you to ask yourself the very important questions “What do I really need to say?” “Why do I feel like I need to say this?”
IT IS BEST FOR THE RELATIOSHIP
Doing what is best for the relationship means that the communication supports the relationship. It means that both partners are taken into consideration in thought and deed, in feeling and belief system. That there is a point to the communication that supports the further building of trust and love.
I AM LIVING IN THE MOMENT
Living in the moment means only the here and now exists. Look at whether the truth that you feel you need to bring up has something to do with unresolved issues from the past or anxiety about the future. Each moment of a relationship is a new beginning. The past is over; there is nothing that can be done about it. Enjoy the memory, honor what that moment gave you, or forgive and let go of whatever did not work for you or how we believed we were wronged. The future…will be whatever it is. Bring up only what is affecting the relationship RIGHT NOW. The baggage of yesterday has no place in the beauty of now.
I CAN EXPRESS MYSELF IN A CALM, GROUNDED WAY, USING A SOFT, GENTAIL VOICE. I CAN EXPRESS MYSELF WITH LOVE, AND COMPASSION, TAKING MY PARTNER AND THEIR FEELINGS AND POINT OF VIEW INTO CONSIDERATION.
The energy, with which we express ourselves, has a direct effect on how we are heard and cooperated with. If our partner feels under attack they will more than likely do one of three things; attack, defend themselves or tune out all together. None of these options will help you better your relationship. Speaking in terms that allow your partner to feel understood and taken into consideration will allow them to feel loved and will have them want to cooperate.
I CAN EXPRESS THE POSITIVES ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP
It is too easy to fall into criticism. The more that you can acknowledge the good stuff, the better you will feel and the better you will be able to communicate out of love. The more your partner can hear you speak of the good stuff the more appreciated and loved they will feel.
I AM CLEAR HOW I WOULD LIKE MY COMMUNICATION TO BETTER THE RELATIONSHIP/SITUATION
The clearer you are, the clearer you will be understood. You will be a lot less likely to wander or get caught up in irritated feelings. You will also keep your focus on the positive goal for the communication as well as the relationship.
I AM READY TO SHARE MY PROACTIVE IDEAS ON HOW TO HAVE MY STATEMENTS WORK AS A BRIDGE TO SOLUTIONS
In bringing issues up you must be clear in what you DO want. In coming up with ideas you are not only setting a example of how thing can work out, you are also giving a starting point for all the amazingly creative and loving solutions the two of you will come up with.
I AM READY, WILLING AND OPEN TO LISTEN TO MY PARTNERS INPUT
Expect feelings. They have every right to feel whatever they feel about what was said. Just listen and love. They will have some of their own great ideas that you will not have thought of. Expect pleasant surprises. Listen and honor your partner’s truth and experience.
I WILL NOT REPEAT MYSELF. I WILL UNDERSTAND THAT I WAS HEARD AND RESPONDED TO AND DEAL WITH IT FROM THERE.
Repeating yourself is like beating someone over the head with your point of view. People need a chance to process what has been said and to put into effect whatever had been agreed upon. Just TRUST. Trust your partner, trust yourself, trust the relationship.
Enhance your truth, enhance your communication, enhance your relationship, enhance your life! Deeper LOVE and TRUST will be yours!
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My Anniversary Gift to You
Love!
You are Cordially Invited To E-Mail me your Questions about your relationship, lack of one or how to receive the love you desire!
In celebration of my 18th Anniversary
Xoxo
Erika
Your Soul Mate Medium™
Soulmatemedium@aol.com
P.S. Your Question will NOT be printed. Your answer will be directly e-mailed to you. |
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Erika Morrell
Soul Intuitive
& Medium
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Erika Morrell, Soul Mate Medium™ has her heritage to thank for her many gifts.
The Great Granddaughter of Carmella Colchie of Italy known for her ability to prevent and heal Malocchio ( known as the evil eye) and the Currie family known in the Highlands of Scotland as the possessors of the “Currie Coin”. When drinking the water that had been mixed with this coin it had the ability to heal all disease.
With the psychic ability to read minds, predict future events, have prophetic dreams, and speak to Angels; Erika was showing evidence of that deeply spiritual heritage at the ripe old age of three.
Dedicating most of her life to learning as many modalities and traditions of healing as she could, Erika started her very successful privet healing practice in her home town of New York City in 1991.
Working with everyone from students to celebrities to members of the Royal Family, she quickly became one of the most sought after healers in the industry. Erika was known for her eclectic blend of techniques, down to earth approaches and practical applications of complex spiritual principles.
Erika’s special talent was supporting people in finding love, and not just love, but their true Soul Mates. She started to observe an alarming trend; client after client was on the verge of missing their Soul Mate, not by means of a break-up, but by the lack of recognition that their Soul Mate was staring them RIGHT IN THE FACE and they failed to recognize them.
Erika supports people in transcending desire, fantasy and expectation to attain themselves and a true Soul Mate love. She has supported 38 people in finding wedded bliss and countless others in finding the relationship of their hearts, earning her the title Soul Mate Medium™ Enlightener of Love.™
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