Basic Bagua


I was called by a woman who was frustrated and fed up with her job in the banking business. The office politics, daily pressures and travel requirements led Melissa to feel as though she wanted a career change. She didn't know in what direction and she was reluctant to give up her generous salary, but something had to change. We went to work in her Career area and in her Fame & Reputation area to help bring about some vision and clarity for the next step. Melissa wrote down the various suggestions I made----like, cleaning out a disorderly pantry, re-painting an area, hanging a crystal, etc. She compiled these suggestions into a "To-Do" list, checking her duties off one by one as she got them completed. Still nothing seemed to happen. She called me frequently, surprised at the lack of change in her life, wondering if she should do something else or something more. Each time we talked I could hear the edge in her voice. Each time I would assure her things were unfolding and to trust the process.


It wasn't until she signed up for one of my classes that I realized that I hadn't spoken to Melissa for several months. I was curious as to what had happened to her. When she arrived for the class, she was very excited to tell me her story. It seems that, after doing all the Feng Shui suggestions, Melissa began to get clear that her main challenge was her boss. They agreed on nothing. Often Melissa found herself having to carry out instructions or procedures that she did not feel appropriate or efficient. Her boss' lack of organization created extra work and stress for Melissa until Melissa hated her job and everything about it.


In an unexpected shift in personnel, Melissa's boss was moved to another division in another city. Melissa, however, anticipated with dread, who her new boss might be. Several agonizing weeks went by before she was told that SHE was going to be moved into the position. She had no doubt she was up to the task, but frankly it hadn't occurred to her that she might be considered for such a high spot.


Melissa took the job, organized the agenda, simplified the duties, and re-grouped her staff. As a result, she loves her job. She didn't need to leave the banking world to find her pleasure and her passion. There only needed to be a little re-arranging for her to discover this. Sometimes Feng Shui changes things in a time frame that is different from ours. Melissa also got clear that the real issue was not her job, but her boss. She could then energize the aspects of her job that supported her and stop energizing the negative parts.


A man called me because he had noticed that his business had dropped off significantly since they had moved a year ago. He couldn't explain the drop-off. The phone stopped ringing. When I looked in his home office, I noticed that his desk was sitting in the doorway with his back positioned to the door so that he could look out the window. In Feng Shui these are two very challenging situations. I suggested that we move his desk; I even offered to help him so he could see the difference. He expressed some resistance to moving the desk because he liked looking out the window while he was working, there wasn't room to move the desk the way I was proposing, he'd have to move his computer set-up which had take considerable time for him to put together, etc., etc. His wife, however, could envision the outcome and gently encouraged him to try it for a while. We moved his desk. By the time I left the appointment, he had already warmed up to the arrangement and seemed more willing to give it a try. By the time I returned to my own office at home, he had left a message on my voice-mail to say that as he was standing in his office assessing the new layout, the phone rang. A new contract was forth coming! His business continues to prosper.


It was in Portland that I met Mary who agreed to let me bring one of my groups-in-training into her home for a practice appointment. As I heard her story, I wondered why she had agreed to open her home as well as her heart to all of us.


Mary had been divorced for 15 years, when her son was only one year old. She was a single mother for all those years, working to support herself and Brian. Two years ago Brian was diagnosed with leukemia; a year later he died in her arms. Although another year has passed since his death, Mary has not been able to move on. She has felt stuck even though she knows it's time to pull her life together and move forward. It was for this reason she agreed to let us all into her place.

Silently our hearts wept as Mary openly shed tears standing in Brian's room. Everything was left as he had last placed it. Mary had moved nothing. The pain was too much. She and her son had lived quietly and unobtrusively. Brian was a lot like his mother. He loved to read, played tennis with passion and was a good student. He had friends but truly enjoyed his quiet time, which his mother completely understood. They were well-suited as mother and son. It goes without saying that the emptiness Mary felt after Brian's death was beyond our meager comprehension. She had been inconsolable, although somehow she managed to keep going to her job as an elementary school teacher. Mary knew her family and friends were worried about her, but her understandable paralysis prevented her from doing anything different.
Mary's townhouse was laid out with the entry on the left-hand side of her space, opening into the living room, the kitchen behind it (see drawing). The right half included Brian's room, a bathroom and another bedroom being used as a den. Mary's bedroom was upstairs over the kitchen. Brian used the den a lot more than his mother, watching television and videos with friends or by himself. The bathroom was Brian's as well. Since his death, Mary rarely went in any of those rooms. The memories were too painful.

Mary's Townhouse


Her space had become divided after the death of her son. She had intentionally closed the doors to the areas in her space that reminded her of Brian. It was time to make this space whole again. Mary didn't deny that this would be hard and that there would be more pain, but the integration of her space became primary. (Now go back and substitute the word "life" for the word "space" wherever it appears in the paragraph----Feng Shui is really a metaphor for the condition of our lives.)


The half of her life that was on hold reflected her Helpful People, Children/Creativity and Partnership areas. I suggested she begin in the Children area where the bathroom was located as it directly reflected the energy of her child. This room was also the least threatening to Mary. Visitors had used the bathroom on occasion so energy had been moving in and out. She was open to freshening up the walls with a new coat of paint, a few new towels and to cleaning out the cabinets under the sink where she was sure she'd find some of Brian's personal items.


After the bathroom, we discussed she move to the den. This room would bring her a little closer to Brian's life. Mary knew she could call a couple of his good friends to come over and help. There were plenty of videos that she figured they'd love to have. She took a breath as we talked, but assured me she could take this on. We left it at that. Begin small, but at least begin.


On a return visit to Portland, Mary had requested that I call her. She shared with me that her bathroom had nicely transformed and she felt good about the changes. Cleaning it out hadn't been as hard as she thought. Three of Brian's friends came over one Saturday afternoon and between them shared the videos and games they had used with their friend. They even helped her move the furniture around so she could paint the room. Mary admitted that, although she didn't watch much TV, she enjoyed going in there to read. She was getting ready to tackle Brian's room. Her voice was strong and determined.


A subsequent visit revealed another chapter. Mary had a very difficult time dealing with the things in her son's room. Time and again she'd try to work in there, but her grief would overwhelm her. A friend told her about a support group for parents whose children had died. Mary finally went to one of their meetings where she realized that she wasn't alone on this path and that she had a lot of helpful people who could support her. Little by little, she faced Brian's bedroom. She found satisfactory ways to dispose of his belongings, giving furniture and clothing to charities and shelters. When the room was completely empty, she painted the walls, cleaned the carpet and left the door open until she could decide what to do with the space. Mary continued attending the support meetings and she began to make new friends. One was a man whose daughter had died in a car accident. He, too, was divorced and alone. Mary shared her experiences with him, assisted in his grieving process and became a good friend. Recently they had begun dating, a new experience for her since her divorce. The metaphor of clearing out the Partnership area of her townhouse and leaving the door open was not lost on Mary.


As she integrated her divided space, her life became whole and complete again. As Mary integrated her life, her space became whole and complete as well. Although she will never get over the loss of her son Brian, Feng Shui assisted Mary in easing out of her divided life and moving forward with wholeness.


It is my hope that sharing some of the stories I hear on a regular basis may help you better understand the possibilities that Feng Shui and the power of intention can bring into your life. Sometimes by small actions and sometimes by brave ones, Feng Shui can bring about change. Perhaps your dream can be the next one to come true.


Stories like these regularly demonstrate the power of Feng Shui. It's not that I don't believe changes can happen from simple adjustments, it's just that they come in such surprising ways. Much to the delight of the client, as well as me, Feng Shui brings about dreams and wishes in very interesting packages. I want to share some of the stories and outcomes I hear about so that, if there's any doubt in your mind about using Feng Shui, you might be inspired to try it.