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Feng Shui: Wind & Water |
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The Rest of the Feng Shui Story
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by Carole J. Hyder |
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This is the second half of a story about a series of Feng Shui appointments I had with a man named Ned. He had called me to come to his house without much prior knowledge about Feng Shui, energy or intention. He only knew he was desperate. A painful divorce three to four years ago, a hasty move from the town he had been living in, and a duplex that seemed to endlessly annoy him: here was a man who only knew that he needed someone to shift him out of the box he found himself locked in.
As I was driving to Ned’s house for the third time, I couldn’t help thinking how different this appointment was playing out from all of the others I do. Typically I spend a couple of hours with a client, help them prioritize the suggestions I’ve made, and then leave. Sometimes I get a phone call from the client, describing some "coincidence" that happened after doing a Feng Shui adjustment. Unless there’s been a dramatic life-style change, I seldom make a return visit.
With Ned however it was different. Without words, he made it quite obvious that he needed to incorporate changes slowly, steadily and in small steps. He also liked that someone was monitoring his progress. I was anticipating the changes he might have made after our last visit together. I was curious as to what he did with regard to his stove and his kitchen table, the latter being piled with clutter and the former in question as to its being usable.
Ned greeted me with anything but a pleased look on his face. I feared he might have gone into overload and become discouraged and disgusted with the whole process. He explained that his frustration was directed toward the stove which had become more of a project than either one of us had anticipated. In trying to fix one of the burners himself, Ned had disconnected the stove and pulled it out into the middle of the kitchen. He realized it wasn’t something he could fix on his own. The stove had been sitting there for over a week waiting for a repairman to get there, making it impossible to get around in the kitchen. Ned seemed disappointed that he hadn’t accomplished everything we had talked about. We discussed the significance of getting to the bottom of a situation that hadn’t been right since he had moved in. He knew he would feel good to get that part of his life in order.
As I turned around to check out what else he might have shifted in his space, I saw a spotless round table with four matching chairs placed neatly around it. He seemed quite satisfied with himself and found it funny that I was so surprised----shocked might be a better word. The huge table he had piled full of clutter actually folded down to a round one once all the leaves were removed. Somewhere he had unearthed a tablecloth (nevermind the cigarette burn) and had graciously set out two bottles of spring water and a package of Oreos. I dare say I was probably his first "dinner" guest.
While enjoying the Oreos, Ned admitted quite sincerely that he had never slept as well as he had in his new bedroom. He had placed a little plant by the window and enjoyed the element it added to the space. It seemed so peaceful in his place that afternoon, despite the still present stacks of things that were scattered around. When I commented on the tranquil feeling, he told me his noisy tenants had mysteriously agreed to move out without any further trouble. His new tenants were a couple who worked all day and were very quiet in the evening. He was understandably delighted at this change, and conjectured that maybe the crystal he hung in the center of his house might have created some kind of field that evicted the offensive tenant. He started to chuckle at the thought of that idea and then stopped, realizing it might actually be true.
Ned and I looked around at the rest of his space. His next concern was the front bedroom where he used to sleep. He had decided to make it into an office for himself although his job at the manufacturing plant would probably never require him to have need for an office. He had already begun building book shelves along one side of the room. He got excited about putting his computer in there, some books and a desk. We talked about the position of the desk and, like his bed, I suggested it be situated so that when he was sitting at his desk he would be able to see the entry door to the room. This would require that the desk be out in the middle of the room, which didn’t seem like a practical idea to Ned. I also recommended that he curb some of his enthusiasm for building the book shelves to the ceiling. By lowering the height of the shelves, he wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed when he was in his office.
The bookcases would, in the end, be a significant tool for Ned. It would enable him to sort through his books and old magazines and to make some decisions. Despite his excitement about having plenty of book shelves, I suggested he build one less than he thought he would need. That way, he would be forced to consider more seriously which books he was keeping and which ones he could release. He might think twice about keeping some books if it required that he build another shelf. Less is more.
Like the bedroom, we discovered that there were beautiful hardwood floors under a rag of a carpet. Ned had decided on a soft coral color for the walls and together we decided a small strip of track lighting would work for his needs. I could tell he wanted me to leave so he could get started on this room.
Although I wasn’t sure why, I agreed to go back one final time within a few weeks. He was insistent that I’d want to see this beautiful new office when he was done. As I drove back home, I thought that maybe I’d cancel our appointment together since this was such a long drive, and instead chat with Ned on the phone to see how he was doing. After a week or so, I decided to keep our appointment. I had to admit I was anxious to see how his office was shaping up. Besides he might have some of those Oreos left.
As I was driving back to his house, I reflected how Ned proved to be a great teacher for me----about process, about productivity and about patience (mine and his). I knew I couldn’t keep driving out to see this dear man every few weeks for sooner or later he would need to assume his own power.
The last time I was there Ned was about to set up an office area for himself. I didn’t have to wonder how things were going for when I drove up he was coming out the front door with a couple of bags to throw into a dumpster that was parked in front of his duplex. He looked pretty proud of himself as he waved at me. It seems the office project, although not quite complete, had led to a major sorting and de-cluttering bonanza. Three book shelves were done and in place with selected books placed neatly on them. As Ned found the energy to sort through his books and magazines, he realized he was going to need a dumpster to haul away all the old stuff.
In one of my earlier visits, I had casually suggested a Feng Shui adjustment in dealing with clutter: remove nine items a day for nine days. At the time, I wasn’t sure that Ned had paid attention to the suggestion for he didn’t respond or write it down. But, contrary to what I thought, he had listened. Due to the amount of clutter, each "item" for him was a bag filled with useless stuff. Every day he had been taking out nine bags of stuck and stagnant energy, releasing some old and painful ties to the past. Six days (54 bags) had passed since he began this process. Ned was exuberant and almost unrecognizable!
He couldn’t walk me into his house fast enough. His plans for the office were becoming elaborate, but not overdone. He showed me the repaired stove, the kitchen table still relatively uncluttered (placemats, too!), new blinds for his bedroom, new rug for his office. I couldn’t believe the change in the place, evidenced in Ned’s new energy. He actually had living room furniture which I hadn’t been able to see before. We discussed some kind of storage system in his closets since clearly there were items he was wanting to keep.
We spent about thirty minutes together moving some of his living room furniture to make it more inviting. All of the furniture had been pushed up against the walls, so I suggested pulling the couch away from the window and angling a chair on one side. He would eventually need some additional lighting and a coffee table. But for now, he had a place to sit and relax.
I left that day without another set appointment. I felt a little sad but had been reassured that he would invite me back in the near future. Ned called a few months after this last visit to say that, after he got his office all set up, he was promoted from production to sales at his company. He would need that office after all as he would be working from home.
We explored the idea of a new relationship for a moment. He decided he needed to find himself, let go of the past and create some of his own dreams before getting involved with anyone else’s.
It’s been over a year since our visits together. During a recent phone conversation, he told me he’s still sleeping well, eats dinner at his kitchen table and now enjoys the company of a cat. But the most profound event of all that happened to Ned occurred one morning when he woke up and habitually reached for his cigarettes. Since he was forced to get up in search of matches, he was struck by the beautiful space he had created as he walked out into the living room. It was orderly, uncluttered and energetic. He looked around and realized that this was not the home of a smoker. That morning he quit smoking. If he ever felt any pangs to start again, he just needed to look around at his space. He had created a new message to himself-----one that did not include this habitual activity. As Ned de-cluttered his house, he de-cluttered other baggage in his life, like smoking. This was an unexpected change for both of us, proving to me once again the basic Feng Shui principle that your space reflects your life.
One final note: right before sending in this last phase in the life of Ned I called him to see what was going on. He’s dating someone and is madly in love. Go, Ned.
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Carole J. Hyder,
Feng Shui consultant, speaker, teacher, author and trainer.
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Carole J. Hyder has accomplished success as a Feng Shui consultant, speaker, teacher, author and trainer.
She has been a Feng Shui consultant since 1992, having studied with Professor Thomas Lin Yun and Roger Green, both master teachers in their respective philosophies of Feng Shui.
She has facilitated hundreds of private residential and commercial consultations in both traditions. She is co-founder and president of the Feng Shui Institute of the Midwest, an organization dedicated to creating standards for practitioners, providing continuing education and community outreach.
Besides being published in countless publications and writing a monthly column for "The Edge," Carole has published two books. Wind and Water: Your Personal Feng Shui Journey is in its fifth edition, has world-wide distribution and has been translated into Spanish and German. Her second book Living Feng Shui: Personal Stories was released in September 2001.
Carole currently spends her time presenting seminars and keynotes. She has developed a six-part training program, Wind and Water School of Feng Shui, which is now licensed by the State of MN.
www.carolehyder.com
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