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Astrologer's Notes: |
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A Holiday Memory
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by Diana Stone |
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Dateline December 2003. This year has been one of change, transition, purging and disruption for many people. The astrological patterns presented unusual formations, challenges and opportunities that stretched us. My columns this year have dealt with a variety of serious astrological and metaphysical topics. I thought it would be fun to end 2003 on a light note.
I pulled my chair up to the computer. I thought to myself, "I should send a holiday greeting to my e-mail readers; something really clever, really inspiring, really uplifting; something people keep in their scrapbooks and read all year long, something they forward to everyone they know, something totally memorable, even spiritual."
I sat in front of the computer, my fingers tapping lightly on the keys, as I thought and thought and thought, waiting for inspiration. Two hours passed. Nothing. It finally became painfully apparent that the message I envisioned was something I must leave to the poets and philosophers. To salvage something, I decided to share a holiday memory and let it go at that.
When I was in high school, I hit on what I thought was a brilliant idea. (This is as inspiring as this gets.) I knew some little kids who believed in Santa Claus, so I decided to call them on Christmas Eve and pose as Mrs. Santa…give the little buggers a thrill. The first call was to a little four-year-old daughter of my basketball coach.
I called and asked for Crystal. I said, in my best Mrs. Santa voice, "Hello, Crystal, this is Mrs. Santa and I'm calling before Santa leaves to deliver the presents." Before I could go on, I heard the most unearthly shrieking. I finally made out that she was screaming, "I'LL GO TO CHURCH AND SAY MY PIECE."
I talked to her mother who explained that she was balking about going to an evening church Christmas program where she was to recite a poem. When I called, it scared the hell out of her. (She said her piece.) Strike one, terrorize a four year old.
Undaunted, I next called little Lyle Hagen, the brother of a classmate. Well, I did the Mrs. Santa gig on Lyle. He was more receptive. Then I made the mistake of saying that I was calling to see if he had been a good boy so Santa could bring him his presents. He solemnly assured me that he had NOT been a good boy. (Why didn't the kid just lie?) I tried to wiggle out of this dilemma by saying he could promise to be good in the coming year. Could he do that? NO. This did not end well. Strike two, I just ruined the kid's Christmas and NEXT year's Christmas.
This was not turning out to be the precious little experience I had envisioned. However, I plunged forward and called a little girl who lived on a nearby farm. This kid must have grown up to be a maven on Wall Street, at the very least. Oh, things started off well enough. This kid was acting like a kid. Deterioration set in when I asked what she wanted from Santa. "A Betsy-Wetsy doll, a tea set, tables and chairs, a toy oven that really bakes, an assortment of clothes, a radio and a set of paints," she rattled off like a machine gun. She included everything except 100 shares of blue chip stocks. I knew this was a pretty hefty burden for her parents' budget, so Mrs. Santa was forced to give a little lecture on greed. The kid was a real sour puss. Strike three.
I was stunned when I returned to school after Christmas vacation. Everyone was abuzz about "who is Mrs. Santa." Mrs. Santa's phone calls on Christmas Eve became a tradition for me each year I was in high school. When I came home from college, the secret had leaked out. My mother presented me with a long list of requests from parents for Mrs. Santa to call their little precious. I achieved a certain celebrity in my small mid-Western town. When I moved away, my mom kept up the tradition for a number of years.
When my mother died, I was at the funeral home where she was lying in state. A guy came up to me with his wife in tow. He was a local kid who wanted to introduce me to her. "This is Mrs. Santa, "he said.
Happy holidays everyone,
Mrs. Santa
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Diana Stone,
Astrologer
& Huna Shaman
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Diana Stone began astrological studies in the 1960s under the tutelage of Charles Luntz, author of Vocational Guidance by Astrology.
In 1973, she established a private practice in Portland, OR. She serves a clientele that includes an extensive network of telephone clients.
Her book on the U.S. horoscope was published in 1976. In the early 90s she contributed to three anthologies published by Llewellyn Publishers and edited by Noel Tyl.
Diana has lectured extensively and is a popular keynote speaker. She delivered the keynote address at the United Astrology Conference in Orlando in July 2002.
She has been a student for over 30 years of Huna shamanism, the system practiced by ancient Polynesian kahuna. Huna Research, Inc. certified her as a teacher of the ancient lore.
Diana serves an extensive international clientele as a shaman specializing in soul retrieval. She and her brother formed a publishing company, Crystal Triangle Publishing, and the book they co-authored, The Lightbody Activation Manual, will be released in February 2003. Diana now resides in Vancouver, WA.
Diana Stone
12005 NW 14th Avenue
Vancouver, WA 98685
dianas@spiritone.com
www.DianaStone.com
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