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Humor: Notes from the Trail |
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“It Was All a Misunderstanding,”
Cheney Says
by Steve Bhaerman
(Swami Beyondananda) |
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In the wake of news reports that he was part of a hunting party that killed over 400 pheasants who were released into a field to be shot like -- you should excuse the expression -- sitting ducks, Vice President Cheney has finally offered an explanation. While first reports suggested he envied George Bush’s aircraft carrier victory dance and he too wanted to enjoy a decisive victory over a worthy opponent, Cheney blames the whole thing on a “misunderstanding.”
“I thought they were going to be shooting peasants,” the Veep explained.
Speaking of squabbling birds and fowl squawking, did you catch the Democratic candidates’ debate this week? Host Ted Koppel tossed out the first stinky fish, and most of the candidates fell for debate. For those who missed it, he asked, “Who thinks that Gov. Dean (who’d just received the endorsement of Al Gore) can beat President Bush?” Only Dean raised his hand of course, and only Dennis Kucinich pointed out that Koppel’s ploy was a perfect example of how mass media has, as the Swami would say, contributed to truth decay and kept the Irony Curtain in place. Kucinich got a loud and hearty ovation.
Meanwhile, in California, Gov. Schwarzenneger (don’t you love the sound of that?) has decided not to allow the investigation into his alleged groping go forward after all. In response, women who have experienced Arnold’s “hands on” approach to communicating with the opposite sex have vowed to be a presence at every one of the Governor’s public appearances, adding another dimension to the Governor’s cult of celebrity: He’ll have his own following of “gropies” tattling on him wherever he goes. For his part, Arnold has denounced what he calls, “Tattle-for-tit tactics.”
In other news, the Iraqi health minister has been ordered by American authorities to stop the counting of the Iraqi dead in the ongoing conflict. American officials hotly denied that this meant that “Iraqis don’t count,” and countered, “There’s no discrimination whatsoever. In fact, we’re very quickly moving towards a more equitable policy where American casualties won’t be counted either.
And finally, Swami Beyondananda and the Right to Laugh Party offered an official statement applauding the Supreme Court’s decision to continue to ban “soft money” in political campaigns. Said the Swami in his statement, “While money is a legitimate expression of the freedom of speech, money should not talk so loudly that it drowns out the voice of the people. We at Right to Laugh support the soft money ban. Folding paper money has no place in political campaigns, and if all contributions had to be made in those hard, heavy, metal coins, well, politicians would definitely weigh contributions more carefully.”
Got some last minute stockings to stuff? Swami’s hilarious CDs, tapes and books have been called “the most natural stocking stuffers since feet.” Click below for Swami’s Healing Laughter Specials. And ... at long last, the Right to Laugh website, membership cards and other paraphenalia (after being lost in a parallel universe) will be available very, very soon. Honest!
May the Farce be with you,
Steve Bhaerman
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Swami
Beyondananda,
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Swami Beyondananda is the alter ego of author, comedian and teacher Steve Bhaerman.
In his previous life, Steve has been an educator, author and publisher. The co-founder of an alternative high school in Washington, D.C., Steve is the author of No Particular Place to Go: Making of a Free High School (Simon & Schuster, 1972) and Friends and Lovers: How to Meet the People You Want to Meet (Writer's Digest Books, 1986).
He was an adjunct professor at Wayne State University and University of Michigan, and published his own magazine in southeastern Michigan, Pathways.
For the past 16 years, he has been writing and performing comedy as Swami Beyondananda.
The Swami is author of Driving Your Own Karma, and Duck Soup for the Soul. He is also the founder of the Right-To-Laugh party, and rumor has it he will toss his turban into the ring and launch a run for President this April Fool's Day.
To find out more about the Swami, and how you can promote healing laughter and transformational comedy through the Laughmore Society and the Right-To-Laugh movement, go to
www.wakeuplaughing.
com
or call Swami’s hotline:
1-800-SWAMI-BE.
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