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Creating Bridges: Spirituality & Philosophy:
Spirituality in Daily Life:
Tong.len: The Taking
and Giving Meditation
by Bhikshuni Thubten Chodron and Marcia Herivel |
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The taking and giving meditation (tong.len in Tibetan) is part of the system for developing the altruistic intention of bodhicitta called equalizing and exchanging self and others. It is an extremely powerful and beneficial practice, which challenges our self-centeredness and enables us to develop strong and stable love and compassion for both ourselves and others. It is a fast way to purify negative karma and create the causes for long life, good health, and both temporary and ultimate happiness.
In the taking and giving practice, we imagine the suffering of others, really allowing it to affect us, until we find their suffering unbearable and have a strong yearning to be of help. Seeing that what limits us from being able to help is our own self-centeredness, we resolve to mentally take on others' suffering in order to subdue that self-preoccupation, and then, to mentally offer beings every happiness they desire. This is the opposite of our self-centered view in which we seek benefit and happiness for ourselves and either relegate others' suffering and happiness to second place or ignore them completely. Since our self-centeredness is the enemy that has kept us in suffering states for eons, it is appropriate and desirable to counteract it. Because all our happiness comes due to the kindness of others, it is suitable and beneficial to care about them as much as we care about ourselves.
Because it is so powerful, the taking and giving meditation was considered a secret teaching for many generations. It was first taught by Shakyamuni Buddha, passed on orally through major teachers to Shantideva, Atisha, and Lama Tsong Khapa, who included it in his systematized Lam Rim teachings. Shantideva wrote in detail about the practice of seeing ourselves and others as equal in his Guide to a Bodhisattva's Way of Life:
When I and all others are alike in wishing for happiness, why strive for my own happiness alone? And when I and all others are alike in fearing pain, what distinguishes my self, that I protect it, and not others?
The first teacher to teach taking and giving publicly was the Kadampa Geshe Chekawa. He broke the seal of secrecy and taught the practice to, among others, people suffering from leprosy. These lepers cured themselves by using this practice. Geshe Chekawa wanted the teachings to be available to others, and so he committed it to writing in the Seven-Point Mind Training. A story about Geshe Chekawa relates that in his practice of taking and giving, he often prayed to be born in hell for the benefit of others. At his death, he said he had not succeeded in his life work, because a pure realm where no suffering exists appeared to him as he was dying. This pure realm, where he could receive teachings directly from a fully enlightened being and attain full enlightenment, was the result of his sincerely cultivating the heart of cherishing others.
In the Mahayana Buddhism, bodhicitta, or the wish to attain enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, is essential for attaining enlightenment. The development of bodhicitta is challenging: to produce the mind that truly desires that all beings, without exception, be free of suffering and have true happiness, even at our own expense, is not an easy thing. Why is this so difficult? Because we cling to our innate, deeply embedded belief in a separate self and consequently seek the happiness of this self at all costs. This is not something for which we need to blame or fault ourselves; it is ordinary beings' natural tendency to identify with their body and mind and grasp at a solid self. However, this grasping is misplaced because no solid, truly existent, findable, separate self exists. This mistaken perception of a separate, solid self is the root cause for the negative emotions that arise in reaction to what we perceive as other-disturbing emotions such as clinging attachment, anger, apathy, jealousy, and arrogance. The more we seek to protect and defend this solid self in search of our own happiness, the more unhappy we are. This is clear when we examine our own experiences.
People sometimes worry that if they visualize taking on others' sufferings, they will really do it. They fear they will get sick or anxious or somehow inherit others' negative karma. A great deal of resistance can come up when we think of taking others' suffering into ourselves and of giving away our body, possessions, and positive potential so they will be happy. Dealing with this resistance is a crucial part of the taking and giving practice. It is important to ease into the practice rather than set up walls against it. When resistance arises, contemplate the following:
1. Each of us experiences the results of our own actions, or karma, not the results of others' karma. Therefore, we will not increase our suffering by imagining taking on others'.
2. It is simply our self-centeredness that is creating the fuss. However, self-centeredness has consistently been our enemy and the source of all our suffering and problems. When our enemy is harmed we rejoice. Likewise, when our self-centeredness feels uncomfortable, we can say, "Good!" because we know we are opposing the source of our suffering.
3. Contemplate the kindness we have received from others-relatives, friends, strangers-and feel in our hearts that everything we have and all our talents come due to their care and efforts. From this a wish to repay their kindness will naturally arise.
4. Remember the advantages of cherishing others: the happiness it brings in our own and others' lives, the spiritual progress we make, etc.
The taking and giving practice brings a sense of tremendous spaciousness and joy, and a great sense of relief knowing that we can mentally do something powerful to help others and at the same time loosen the hold of our self-centered attitude.
Do the practice as follows: First breathe silently for two or three minutes. Let go of all distracting concepts and thoughts.
Because our own suffering is most potent for us, we begin with that. Think of a painful event in your past and let the memories and emotions surface. To the extent that you can, reflect on the nature of that suffering, on what it was like for you. Be aware that every person has painful events to recall. Visualize the person that you were when that event happened in the space in front of you.
Try to identify how your natural tendency toward self-centeredness played into your view or interpretation of the event; how perhaps your inclination toward protecting your own interests might have actually increased your experience of suffering in this situation.
Locate that feeling of self-centeredness at your heart, and give it a form or an image. One of the traditional ways of viewing it is as a hard, black egg residing at the heart. Sometimes it is described as a lump of black coal or a stone. Use an image that works for you.
Visualizing yourself in the situation of the greatest suffering of your life in front of you, generate a sense of tremendous compassion for that person you were at that time. Imagine all that suffering coming out of your past self in the form of a black, laser-like light, so that your past self is free from all suffering. Breathe that black light into the place of self-centeredness at your own heart. The laser beam forcefully strikes the lump of self-centeredness, which dissipates, due to the force of your compassion for yourself.
Now, experience a feeling of softness and openness at your heart-the absence of the painful lump of self-centeredness. Stay in that open space, free of your ordinary self-grasping and self-preoccupation for as long as you can.
Within that open space at your heart, a white light appears. That light is your love and it radiates and gently falls onto your previous self. Whatever it was you might have needed to ease the pain of that moment, give it to yourself. Rest for a moment with this sense of relief and release and kindness toward yourself.
Now generate an image of someone in your life for whom you feel a natural, spontaneous affection. As the image of that person comes to mind, picture something that you know gives that person mental or physical pain or discomfort. Imagine what this experience is like for the person you love. Generate a genuine sense of compassion for this person's situation, and resolve to take on this suffering yourself so that they will be free of it.
Using the image of a black laser beam of light, breathe the suffering of the person you love into your heart, where it dissolves the black lump of your self-cherishing. Stay in that empty space for a while. Then the white light of your love appears at your heart. Send that out to your dear one. Imagine transforming your body, possessions, and positive potential into whatever they need and send it out to them. They receive everything they need and experience true happiness and satisfaction. You in turn experience joy at their happiness.
Now, let your mind move to all the beings with whom you have no particular connection. Let one or more of those beings come to your mind. It might be a homeless person you saw recently and felt confused about how best to help them. It might be a person you saw driving who had a look of sadness about them. Or it might be a whole group-people in a war-torn country, all those suffering from cancer, victims of floods or fire. It could be people with a particularly difficult health problem, or animals who suffer in a painful way. Be aware that for each of these beings, his or her situation is equally or even more painful than your own.
Then think of that self-centeredness lump at your own heart. Breathe in the suffering of these people in the form of a black beam of light. Dissolve that hard knot of self-centeredness at your heart and rest in that open space. Send out from the spaciousness at your heart the light of love for the others. Imagine that they really receive all that they need and are happy. Feel what that could be like for them. Then, rest in the awareness of that exchange and its transforming power for you.
Finally, take a huge leap to the vast sphere of all sentient beings. Include in this any and all beings you may consider to be your enemies, individuals or groups with whom you feel you have irreconcilable differences. Imagine all the beings that exist everywhere, with all their obscurations, strong negative emotions, confusions, disappointments, sorrows and losses. Recognize that each one truly wishes to be happy, content, comfortable and at ease. But due to disturbing emotions and karmic causes, they are confused about the real source of happiness. They are like us, wandering in cyclic existence, beset by frustration, dissatisfaction, and every sort of disappointment.
Imagine the lump of your self-centeredness that resides at your heart. Recall that the sufferings of this vast sea of beings, that extends as far as the eye can see, are exactly the same as your own. Breathe their sufferings into your heart as black light, fully trusting that you are removing their misery. Have a courageous mind, willing to bear hardship so that those kind beings may be free from difficulties. The force of the light that carries all the sufferings of all the beings totally dissolves your remaining self-absorption and self-centeredness. From every direction, the lights of the lasers containing all those sufferings hit your heart and banishes your ignorance and self-centeredness, like a huge explosion.
This leaves a vast spaciousness at your heart. Out of that emptiness arises your great love-the wish for each being in cyclic existence to have happiness and its causes. Imagine transforming your body, possessions, and positive potential into everything those beings need. Send out to them on beams of white light every imaginable offering that could satisfy their worldly and spiritual needs: food for the hungry, water for the thirsty, good health for the sick, rest for the weary and overworked, wealth for the poor, sun and rain for the farmers, safe places to sleep for the homeless, freedom from addiction for the chemically dependent, relief from emotional pain for those who are fearful, anxious, depressed or grieving; comfort and care for the dying, and Dharma teachings and conducive circumstances for practicing them to each being.
Whatever is needed to ease the distress of beings flows out from your heart on each breath in offering-clouds, and is received by those in need. Include in that offering all your own good fortunes, causes of happiness, efforts in practice, virtues and talents, and all your aspirations to reach greater clarity of mind, and ultimately, Buddhahood. Imagine all beings receiving what they need, progressing on the path, and becoming Buddhas.
Rejoice in the happiness that you have given them and in the relief that you experience from having loosened the hold of your own self-absorption in this way. Rejoice at awakening this new state of mind. Determine to cultivate this altruistic wish to help all beings in every way you possibly can.
This practice is especially good to do when we are unhappy or ill. Instead of feeling sorry for ourselves, which only exacerbates our misery, we turn our focus to those who have similar problems. Generating compassion for them, we think, "As long as I am sick (or unhappy), may what I am experiencing suffice for the sickness and unhappiness of all others." Then take on their illness and depression and meditate as above. Feel that by your experiencing the misery that is present in your life at the moment, all others are freed from theirs. Feel their relief; be joyful that you are able to do this for them. When you imagine giving them your body, possessions, and positive potential, which have all been transformed into what they need for temporal and ultimate happiness, experience their happiness. Be joyful that you are able to contribute to their well-being and rejoice at the physical and mental peace they experience.
Dedicate the positive potential accumulated from doing this practice for the enlightenment of all sentient beings.
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Bhikshuni Thubten Chodron,
Buddhist Nun, Teacher, Author
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Thubten Chodron (Cherry Greene) graduated with a B.A. in History from UCLA in 1971. After traveling extensively in Europe, North Africa and Asia, she taught in the Los Angeles City School District did post-graduate work in Education at USC.
In l975, she attended a meditation course given by Ven. Lama Yeshe and Ven. Zopa Rinpoche, and subsequently went to their monastery in Nepal to explore Buddhism. In l977, she was ordained as a Buddhist nun.
Chodron studied and practiced Buddhism of the Tibetan tradition under the guidance of His Holiness the Dalai Lama and other Tibetan masters for many years in India and Nepal.
She was the spiritual program director at Lama Tzong Khapa Institute in Italy for nearly two years and studied three years at Dorje Pamo Monastery in France. For two years she was resident teacher at Amitabha Buddhist Centre in Singapore, and for ten years she was resident teacher and spiritual advisor at Dharma Friendship Foundation in Seattle.
She currently is co-founder of Sravasti Abbey at Liberation Park in USA. Ven. Chodron has taught Buddhist philosophy, psychology and meditation worldwide.
Her books include:
Open Heart, Clear Mind; Buddhism for Beginners; Working with Anger; Taming the Monkey Mind, and Blossoms of the Dharma: Living as a Buddhist Nun.
Active in interfaith dialogue, she also does prison work. Ven. Chodron emphasizes the practical application of Buddha's teachings in daily life and is especially skilled at explaining them in ways easily understood and practiced by Westerners.
www.thubtenchodron.
org
www.sravastiabbey.
org
www.dharmafriendship.
org
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