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Alternative Health & Healing:
Transformational Healing
through the Violet Flame!
Today’s Subject: Respect |
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by Eva Kettles |
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In the past I have had many discussions with my father especially around that subject of “respect”. Every time we had disagreements and I allowed myself to make my opinion known, my father felt that I was provoking him and he reacted very angrily and threateningly. He was warning me and asked for my respect towards him “as my parent”. These situations have happened many times over the years and I am willing to look deeper into this concept of respect.
My brother and I have been raised to respect our parents. I have been told that I have to earn my respect on the other hand. I guess by making the “right” decisions, by choosing what my parents were believing in.
I am now a parent myself and I have a different view on the concept of respect. I believe that respect is mutual. I believe respect is a birth right. I believe that we should respect the elder and the younger equally. I believe we can only expect respect from people who we are willing to respect in return. And this is were I believe lies the basic reality:
I don’t think it can work to ask for respect and not give respect. When do we respect each other? From the very beginning of our existence. We all have different needs in every phase of our lives and that makes it sometimes very tough on parents and children or on romantic relationships as well. What each individual needs in each situation may vary and be the exact opposite of each other. And this is where we need to be very cautious and careful, because these phases build the mutual respect in our relationships. I am learning now to respect my 2 year old toddler and her opinions just as much as my own feelings about them. This of course is challenging and I need to be very honest to myself and learn to watch myself in order to not demand things of her just to win the argument or situation or in order to please my ego. I don’t want to dominate her into submission or expect her to surrender to my will. These are old parenting techniques that have consequences.
Depending on the personality type of our children or our partner he or she can reflect back to us what they have been experiencing in the past. Some children or raised adults may develop or already have developed a false Self - unable to be who they really are. They may be eager to please the parent or others just to gain their approval. It can go so far that they lose touch with their true inner feelings. The child or adult may now function as a chameleon trying to mirror the desires and needs of everyone around them and may never really find out what their own needs are.
The other personality type may react very different. She or he may learn to protect her-/himself, that is her or his real self, by caring less about her relationship with her parent or about the other person. She or he may be feeling that the opposite can not be trusted, she or he may opt out and shut down parts of her/his development. Suddenly the child or now adult may feel detached, insensitive or reject the parent in order to protect her-/himself from further disappointment, their judgement or abandonment. In later years they might not understand why they have a detached relationship with their parent or caregiver. The feelings have been grown over years and the resentment and disappointment has been raised on many occasions.
Young children and also teenagers can’t find solutions by avoiding them or by rejecting them. The parents are needed in the times that are difficult. The children need to be heard and solutions may come from a place of space and time to allow a safe and fertile relationship to develop. Parents need to prevent themselves from being dominated by their anger and negative feelings in order to guide the child to a place of mutual respect and freedom. Obligation kills love and control makes children and young adults feel that they have no choices. The child feels disrespected in their own personality and in their traits or abilities, which builds resentment and disrespect in return.
If we force someone to do it our way, we will not raise a “new generation”, we will raise our “old generation”. But we need new ways and new people, therefore we need to open our horizon to the ideas of the young. By watching them and by listening to their approaches we might be very surprised. By not allowing ourselves to listen to their knowledge we deny ourselves new opportunities to grow. Our children are our teachers, we can only keep them safe and guide them to be independent and loving individuals.
In order to raise them to be loving and caring, we need to allow them to exercise their free will and guide them safely along so they don’t hurt other people’s freedom either. This is a very narrow path, to respect their will but make sure that they still hear us as well. Respect cannot be only one sided, it needs to be mutual in order to be fertile and nourishing.
If we are all learning to respect each others ideas and opinions without pressuring the other person into surrender we allow a prosperous and honest relationship to unfold which grows “mutual respect” naturally.
If we stay stuck in our old parenting techniques we will raise children that resent us and will emotionally react to our domination. Nowadays it could be also dangerous, because the generations to come have no fear of using bigger strategies in return. Force will always bring force in return, therefore the answer can only lie in acceptance and love - and mutual respect.
I hope every parent can grow into a respectful adult which can accept that their children are individuals that are not coming into our lives to do it our way. We have done it our way, therefore we need them to do it their way.
With many blessings that the new ways will free us all!
Eva Kettles
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Eva Kettles,
Spiritual Channel & Healer
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Eva Kettles is a spiritual channel, and guide who offers a sensitive, confidential, non-intrusive, results-oriented approach of clearing the pathway to becoming your True Self….consciously uncovering your Divine Essence.
Mrs. Kettles acts as a “loving detective” to give you clear guidance to your life questions. Working with the healing energy of the Violet Flame, Eva will transform your blocks in all the dimensions that make up your entire being so you can live according to your divine plan and purpose. Release deep seated fears, thought patterns and beliefs that keep you from expressing your authentic self.
Through a process of forgiveness and with the loving presence and help of our spirit guides, Eva enables healing to take place in mind, body, heart and soul. Eva offers individual guidance, fertility counseling, premarital guidance, couples coaching, space clearing and prayer/blessings.
Eva was born and raised in Germany. After finishing business school in Switzerland she discovered her ‘real’ passion for the eternal questions of Life that everybody has, but to which few people discover the answers.
To that end, she decided to become a holistic practitioner. During this education she got a wide background in all available alternative therapy disciplines.
Towards the end of her studies she decided to specialize in Bio-photonic Light Therapy (by Darbic, Dr. Acquillera, France), Frequency/Electrotherapy (Megawave 150), Color puncture, Regenaplex Cellular Therapy (Switzerland), Karma work, Hypnosis and Forgiveness work and opened her own practice first in Munich, than another one in Lucerne, Switzerland. Later, she established a healthy practice in New York City before moving to Ojai, California in March of 2004.
Eva was the protégé of Dr. Gutow in Germany. . He dedicated his whole life to finding out the reasons behind all illnesses. He took into account food, drinks, toxic surroundings or materials, homeopathic remedies in too high frequencies, astral positions, divine paths, karmic constellations, spells, entities and energies that block our good to come forth.
Dr. Gutow could access the highest self or spiritual guidance of each person and discovered that Eva had the ability to do the same work that he was doing. Using the analytical test that was developed by Dr. Gutow, Eva could immediately find out which therapy would work for which client. She explains: “It is like a key and a lock. We have to find the right key to unlock our good. Some keys work, some don’t!”
Having been blessed with many teachers, including Nadeen Shatyam , she learned that once you trust your inner voice you become connected to the universal truth and you do not need to look outside of yourself.
Everything is within us when we finally learn to believe it. Her goal is to help you to find and establish that trust in yourself. Having walked the path to self return, she knows how to guide others.
Phone:(805) 646-9399
www.uncoveryour
essence.com
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